Chakotay checked Voyager's course one more time then settled back to watch the view screen.  Earth.  Seven years to travel 75,000 light years. That was one for the record books. The big blue marble reminded him how they had accomplished the last leg of their journey and what it had cost.  His mind wandered back to his last conversation with the Admiral, who had sought him out in his quarters the day before.  It seemed much longer ago than only a day.

"Admiral! Come in. I wasn't expecting you."

"I know." Admiral Janeway moved to the couch and sat down. "I'll have coffee if you don't mind."

"Of course." Chakotay was caught off guard by her request. He moved quickly to fulfill his obligations as host. The Admiral sipped her coffee contemplating Chakotay all the while.

"You're looking at me like I'm a stranger."

"No, you're no stranger, at least not at this time. But to me that's almost what we became." She sipped her coffee again. "I need to tell you some things. Some of them you may not want to hear, but I think it is necessary that you hear them. Will you promise to hear me out before you comment?"

"If that's what you want, of course, Admiral."

"You know that I told Kathryn some things about your future? Well, I didn't tell her the complete story. I omitted a few details that I think you should know.

"For reasons only you and Seven knew, you married. You never volunteered your reasons and I never asked. Seven died in your arms about three years from now, but it wasn't on an away mission or in the line of duty. You found her in your quarters when you came off duty. She died before you could get her to sickbay. The doctor told you later that her cortical node had malfunctioned again. He insisted that if he had known in time, he might have been able to adjust it and prevent her death. We found a message to the doctor in her logs that indicated she had known for some time what the problem was and that it was not within the doctor's abilities to repair. Neither the doctor nor Icheb accepted that answer. A few months after she died, they reported that the defect could have been repaired – but only long before Seven realized there was a problem. I never understood what the exact problem was but it was cumulative." The Admiral reached into her pocket and handed Chakotay a storage disk. "The necessary adjustments are included in their report. Whatever the problem was, this is probably early enough to prevent her death in three years.

"There was more in her logs and in messages she left you and Kathryn that she had written shortly before she died. In them, she said that she had felt pressured by me to explore her humanity, to develop personal relationships. She chose you because you were Kathryn's best friend but she did not realize for several years that there was another facet to that friendship, not until the friendship had begun to fail. She apologized to you and to me for coming between us and hoped that her death would at least allow us to regain what we had once shared.

"We never did. The breach that has already started was never sealed. You grieved for Seven, but you may call it an old woman's conceit when I say that it was not the grief I remember when you thought I had been killed by that shuttle crash.

"I'm changing my past in the hopes that the future for this crew is better than the one I lived. As I said, you never spoke of your feelings for Seven or for me and I never told you what I felt. I think you should know how I feel. At the very least, I hope to salvage the friendship we shared. I love you -- now as an old woman, and now as Kathryn is today, but it took me too long to admit what I felt to myself. I don't know whether what I've told Kathryn is enough to make her act on her feelings. If she does act but you don't love me, love her, please try to keep your friendship intact."

The Admiral stood. When Chakotay started to speak, she motioned him to silence. "I didn't ask then and I don't want to know now. Thank you for being my friend for these last seven years." With that, she left.

Chakotay was pulled back to the present when his relief at the con arrived on the bridge. He quickly updated her on the status of the con and moved toward his chair. Kathryn had taken her seat while his thoughts wandered. She stood as he approached. "Tuvok, you have the bridge. You're with me, Commander. We have a new crewmember to welcome aboard."

Once in the turbolift, Kathryn directed it to deck three. At Chakotay's questioning look, she replied, "I think we need to talk and in a few hours we won't have a chance."

She led them to her quarters and motioned him to sit. "The Admiral told me some things about our future, your future, that I think you should know."

"She told me, too. Last night she came to my quarters."

"Were you surprised by what she told you?"

"Yes and no. I think that what surprised me the most is that she said she didn't tell you the entire truth as I heard it."

"Which of us received the real truth?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure at least part of what she told me was true. Other parts, I'm not so sure about. I'm not sure it matters now. Neither 'truth' will happen; we've changed it all."

"That's true enough." Both of them laughed at Kathryn's unintended pun.

"That felt good." Chakotay's smile reinforced his words.

"What?"

"Laughing with you. It's been a long time since we shared a joke."

"You're right. That's my fault. A lot of things have been my fault. That's why I wanted to talk to you. The Admiral told me a lot of things – about your future but mostly about myself, things I wasn't ready to hear, didn't want to hear. I wouldn't admit it to her, but she was right." Kathryn stood and moved to the view port. "I didn't like some of the future she described. Mostly I didn't like losing your friendship and if she was right, I lost a lot more than that."

"I didn't like hearing what she had to say either, but I liked even less her not knowing whether I missed the friendship. She didn't know because she never asked and I never told her. When did we stop talking like that?"

"Have we?" Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay.

"You know we have. All we ever discuss is ship's business. We barely even discuss the latest gossip or Tom's pranks. Like I said, it's been a long time since we shared a joke."

"Maybe the Admiral was wrong; maybe it is too late and we just don't know it."

"I don't think it's too late but I think we both have to do what the Admiral hoped we would. I know what she wanted me to do even if she didn't say it and I suspect she wants you to do the same thing." Chakotay joined Kathryn at the view port. "We're not in the Delta Quadrant anymore and I probably won't be your first officer twenty-four hours from now. I love you, Kathryn, and I think you once loved me. The sad thing is, for almost seven years you couldn't offer me a future and now I can't offer you one until I know what the Federation council is going to do with the Maquis. I still love you. Whatever you decide in the next few weeks, at least you will know how I feel."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "I did love you; I still do." Chakotay pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. "The only thing I am sure about other than how I feel about you is that we will face whatever Starfleet and the Federation council throw at us together. We got this crew home together, so together is how we go home – and I don't mean as captain and commander, I mean as Kathryn and Chakotay."

After about ten minutes, Kathryn pulled away. "As much as I would love to stand here forever, we're supposed to be in sickbay welcoming aboard our newest crewmember."

Together they headed for the door, but just before they reached it, Kathryn held out her hand for his. She chuckled at the glances they received from the few people they passed in the corridors. Just before they reached sickbay, Chakotay paused.

"Tom is still in there." Chakotay's voice conveyed the warning his words didn't.

"I know. He'll need as much time as possible to close down all the betting pools on us."

Laughing, Chakotay put his arm around Kathryn and together they stepped into the future the Admiral had hoped they would share.