by Dakota

Who am I? Sometimes I know exactly who I am and what I am doing. Other times, like now, I have no idea what I'm doing or why I'm on this ship. Oh, I can tell you my name and rank and describe all my job responsibilities on Voyager but that isn't who I am; it's what I do.

Who am I? When I was young I was my father's favorite but as I grew older I sought to identify myself in Starfleet as my own person. Eventually I became my father's child again, but in a way that was uniquely my own. Today when I walk Voyager's corridors, people see my father's legacy.

Who am I? I am the captain of a ship lost 75,000 light years from home – now that is one claim to fame I could well have done without. Fortunately I wasn't the only captain with that problem so I have someone with whom I can share the responsibilities for the ship and crew. I've always said that we'd make it back to the Alpha Quadrant, but lately I'm actually beginning to believe we will.

Who am I? I look in the mirror some mornings and see my reflection but I don't recognize the person. I see a familiar, yet unfamiliar, design and a uniform battling for prominence.  I am neither, yet both represent a part of me. The design represents an acceptance of self and a search for peace and love.  Long have I sought peace and love, and have often thought I had found one or the other, but it was fleeting at best. I don't believe I will truly find one without the other, and I'm no longer sure either can be found in the uniform that represents Starfleet, duty, and responsibility and, yes, in a strange way, love. No, love does not fit comfortbly in the uniform or the life of a Starfleet officer. I wear the uniform every day and find comfort in its familiar feel, but some days it seems to nearly crush my soul.

Who am I? I sit here on the bridge trying to work but in fact my thoughts are on my dilemma.  Then a hand touches mine across the shared work area and I look into her face and know who I am -- I am the man who loves Kathryn.