by Dakota

"You didn’t poison the coffee, did you?" Chakotay leaned back in his chair and glanced from the cup in his hand to the captain with just the hint of a smile on his face.

"Not any more than I usually do." Kathryn returned the smile as she sipped from her cup.

Voyager's two senior officers sat in companionable silence for a few minutes as they relaxed on a ship no longer haunted with conspiracies and secret plots. Abruptly the captain stood.

"We'll be more comfortable on the couch. Do you want a refill?"

Chakotay stood and nodded. "Please."

The captain reached for his cup and moved toward the replicator nodding him toward the couch with her head. She quickly filled the cups and carried them across the room. She handed Chakotay his then started prowling the room carrying her cup. Chakotay watched her for a few minutes.

"Kathryn."

She jerked around in surprise, almost as if she had forgotten he was in the room.

"What."

"Why don't you sit down? You're making me dizzy."

"I'm sorry." She made her way to the couch and sat down, slightly on one leg so she could face him. "I guess I'm still a little unsettled by all those theories Seven dreamed up."

"Dreamed up is the right word." His comment brought smile to her face ever so briefly. "But I know what you mean. There was just enough sense in her theories for them to be possible."

"You know what Tuvok told me?" Chakotay shook his head in response to her question. "He told me her theories were quite logical."

"Seven might have been better off if she had approached him with those theories instead of us."

"I think he would have seen the flaws sooner."

"Why do you say that?" Chakotay's voice conveyed his curiosity.

"He also told me that she had omitted one factor in developing the theories. She had not taken into account the character of the individuals involved and the friendship between the two of us." Kathryn shook her head ruefully. "Apparently, my Chief of Security believes that if I had been involved in some sort of conspiracy I would have taken you into my confidence long ago and you'd have been privy to all my plans."

"I'm not sure that's a compliment coming from Tuvok."

The captain chuckled. "I think you're wise to be skeptical."

"So you think our Chief of Security doesn’t trust the two of us?"

"Quite the contrary. I think he trusts us implicitly."

"I wish I had trusted you more." Chakotay stared into his nearly empty cup. "You know that rumor I mentioned earlier, the one about the captain and first officer nearly coming to blows? It may have been a rumor but it was too close to the truth for me to find it funny. For a while there I actually considered the possibility that you were capable of doing all those things Seven concocted."

Kathryn smiled slightly as she tilted her head in understanding.

"I know you better than that. I know you wouldn't be part of that kind of subterfuge." Chakotay shook his head. "Hell, I was even carrying a phaser around the ship."

"I was, too, Chakotay. Her theories sounded so good and fit so many facts. I know you. You're my friend. There was just enough truth in her theories twisted in with conjecture to make me think it was possible."

"Why did we fall for it? What made us stop trusting each other?" Chakotay sounded angry and frustrated. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you; I'm angry at myself. I should never have…"

Kathryn reached out and touched Chakotay's hand gently to get his attention. "I know. I feel the same way. You're my best friend, yet I still believed you could be capable of that kind of deceit. I had no reason to believe it but I did. I'm as guilty of lack of faith as you."

"No, you're not." Chakotay stood up. "Damn it, Kathryn. I love you. How could I believe that of you?"

They stared at each other for a minute before Chakotay looked down at the cup in his hand. He carefully placed it on the table. "I'd better go before we really do come to blows."

He turned on his heel and walked to the door. He paused without turning to look at her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up. Do us both a favor and forget I said it." Then he left leaving a stunned and shaken captain staring at the door.

Later that night, Chakotay sat in his living area staring at the stars having long abandoned any expectation of working on the padd that lay on his lap. He and Kathryn had just managed to regain their comfortable familiarity when the conversation had deteriorated into a "who is guiltier" debate. Then he had made it personal, very personal. That was the last thing they had needed tonight yet without thinking he had brought it into the conversation. Then instead of hinting at his feelings, he had been explicit. No gentle hints or suggestive comments. No, not tonight. Tonight he had just blurted it out like some desperate adolescent. Tonight emotion had finally prevailed and that emotion had been anger. He shook his head in disgust. Anger. The last emotion he had expected to be feeling when he told Kathryn he loved her. He hadn't expected that his next action would be to turn and leave.

He shook his head slowly and considered going to bed. For the third time in as many hours, he decided against it because he knew he wouldn't sleep. The stars were far more interesting than the ceiling. He stood and walked across the room, tossing the padd on his desk as he passed it on the way to the replicator.

Chakotay brought his herbal tea back to his chair. Tonight the familiar flavors did little to soothe his frayed emotions. Maybe he should revise the duty roster so he and Kathryn were on different shifts for a few days. Tuvok was currently on Gamma shift while some of the younger officers were covering Beta. He glanced at the time. If he relieved Tuvok in thirty minutes, Tuvok could take Beta shift tomorrow leaving Gamma for Chakotay. He'd tell the captain about the changes in the morning when she went on duty for Alpha shift.

Chakotay considered her reaction. She wouldn't be happy but she wouldn't push the point in front of so many junior officers. A few weeks on different shifts would give them both the chance to forget.

Chakotay sat in the captain's chair on the bridge staring at the view screen. This was his fourth watch on Gamma shift and he found it boring. He couldn't believe he missed Tom's idle chatter. He wondered if this had been a good idea. The first morning when he turned the bridge over to the captain, she had looked surprised and a little uncertain. The second day she seemed quiet but calm. Yesterday, she had seemed her normal brisk morning self. Yes, it had been a good idea. He settled back, glad there were only a few more minutes before the end of the shift.

The bridge door swished open and the first of the Alpha shift officers exited the turbolift. Chakotay didn't bother turning to look because the idle conversation of the occupants meant the captain was not among them. A minute later, it opened again. This time Chakotay turned expecting to see the captain. Instead he saw Tuvok approaching his chair.

"Good morning, Commander." Tuvok held out a padd to Chakotay.

"Morning, Tuvok." Chakotay took the padd and read it before glancing up at Tuvok. He studied the Vulcan a moment. "Do you know what this is about?"

"I do not."

Chakotay nodded as he considered the padd. "You have the bridge, Tuvok."

"Aye, Sir."

Chakotay entered the turbolift wondering why the captain wanted to speak to him… in his office.

Chakotay entered his office to find the captain studying a sculpture on the bookshelf. "You wanted to see me, Captain."

"Get some coffee and come sit down." The captain walked over to his couch as she spoke. "There are a few things we need to discuss."

Chakotay requested a cup of tea and joined the captain on the couch.

"First of all, never pull a stunt like that again. If you feel compelled to rearrange the duty roster for the two of us, at least tell me before you do it. I expect you to make adjustments like this for the crew but I want to know who has the bridge."

"It won't happen again, Captain."

The captain studied her first officer.

"Care to tell me why you had the sudden urge to switch to Gamma shift?"

Chakotay met her gaze.

"I thought it would give us both time to put that conversation behind us. I know what I said is something you'd rather not discuss."

The captain nodded. "That's what I thought. While that's not exactly why I wanted to talk to you, it is related to that."

Chakotay thought the captain looked nervous, almost uncertain. She looked down at her cup before taking a drink. She sighed and looked at him. "I'm not sure I liked the implications of your statement. You seemed to imply that your personal feelings held you to a higher standard."

"In my opinion, they do. To me love and trust go hand in hand. I should have at least taken Seven's allegations to you, asked you about them, told you what she had said. But I didn’t."

"You misunderstand. I didn’t mean a higher standard than that of any other officer. I meant a higher standard than I should meet." Kathryn looked at Chakotay.

"I don't understand."

"You held yourself to a higher standard because of your feelings. Well, I hold myself to that same higher standard… for the same reason."

Chakotay stared at Kathryn trying to come up with more than one explanation to fit what she had said. He couldn't think of a second one. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You've always been honest with me. You deserve no less from me." Kathryn stood and walked back over to the bookshelf. "Your comment made me realize that I was expecting you to function on this ship without all the facts."

Chakotay stood and walked over to stand just behind Kathryn. She turned to look up at him. "This doesn't change anything. The captain and first officer of Voyager are still just good friends."

"Best friends." Chakotay interrupted.

Kathryn smiled slightly. "Best friends." She reached up to trail her fingertips down his jaw line. "Someday… I'll be free to say the words."

Chakotay touched her fingers gently with his and nodded his acceptance of her statement. 

Kathryn stepped back, staring at him before she looked down then turned and left. As the door closed behind her, he whispered, "I can hear them in my heart already, echoes from the future."