originally titled

by Dakota

"Do you play chess, Chakotay?"

Chakotay looked up to meet Kathryn's eyes across the table. They were eating dinner after a full day of work around the shelter. Both were hungry and the silence had been comfortable.

"Chess?" For a moment, he didn't understand the question. "Plain, two dimensional chess? Yes, I used to play but it's been a long time. Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious. We've known each other for years and I've never seen you play any game except pool."

"Why did you think I might play chess?" 

"You taught tactics at the Academy. I suppose it seemed like a game you'd know."

"It's been a long time since I played. Most people prefer the 3D version but I've always enjoyed the single level more. Do you play?"

"It's been a while and I was never very good. My father could never understand how I could grasp math and physics so easily yet be the victim of a fool's mate at least once a year."

"I take it you never considered tactics then?"

"No. It just doesn't come naturally to me like it does to some people."

"You seem pretty good with tactics to me." Chakotay's compliment was sincere.

"Not quite the way you need to be to play chess well. I rely on instinct more than most, maybe more than I should."

"Is that the same instinct that tells you that you will find a cure for whatever it is keeping us on this planet?" Chakotay meant no criticism but couldn't keep a hint of irony from his voice.

"Probably." Kathryn looked down at the table and started pushing the food around her plate with her fork. "I'm not ready to give up yet, Chakotay. Can you understand that?"

"I understand that it's something you have to do." Chakotay told Kathryn what she needed to hear but spoken in a way that was still the truth. She didn't need to hear from him again that Voyager had been gone three months and the reality of being able to catch them in a shuttle a mere dream.

Chakotay turned the topic back to a lighter subject. "You interested enough in chess to play if I make us a board?"

Kathryn considered the question. "I don't know. It sounds to me like you'd be the winner most of the time." She looked up again to see a hint of a smile. "All right. I'll play if you make a board but you better not complain about how bad my game is."

Chakotay cleared the dinner table and filled their cups. Kathryn was puzzled when instead of sitting down with her, he left his cup and went outside. He returned a few minutes later with a small box.

"I know it's crude but it will do until I have time to carve better pieces."  Chakotay placed a thin piece of what looked like the siding of their shelter on the table and then pulled out various sized rocks. Kathryn studied them with interest.

"Is that part of the shelter?"

"It was a shelf in my closet. I can put a wooden shelf up later if I decide I need it."

Chakotay watched as Kathryn studied the playing pieces more closely. They were all made from various sized rocks, half a dull reddish color and the rest dark gray or black. She smiled when she realized that the pieces were distinguished using Starfleet rank insignia painted on the upper surfaces of the red pieces. She started laughing when she saw the markings on the black ones.

"You don't like my efforts?" Chakotay pretended to be affronted by her laughter.

"I can't believe you used the Maquis rank bars on the black pieces. I take it I get to be red?"

"Only if you want to. Want to try them out now?"

"Sure."

Ten minutes later, Kathryn sighed in exasperation and stood. "I told you I could be the victim of a fool's mate all too easily."

She refilled her cup then returned to the table and plopped down on the chair. "All right, Mr. I-Taught-Tactics, teach me how to play this game properly."

Laughing, they returned the pieces to their starting point and started a new game.

A few weeks later, a torrential rainstorm kept them in the shelter all day. As the gloomy skies drowned every creature that ventured out, Kathryn's face glowed as she claimed her first victory.

"Congratulations! Well played!"

"You're off your game, but I'll take the victory while I can." Kathryn made no effort to hide her delight. She turned her bright eyes and exuberant grin toward Chakotay. "As my reward, I'll let you cook dinner."

Chakotay laughed. "I usually cook dinner. You do the sandwiches and soup for lunch, remember?"

Kathryn looked indignant. "I distinctly remember cooking dinner just the other week."

"You're right. That was the night I worked down by the river until after sundown and you were too hungry to wait for me." He stood and moved toward the galley. "Anything in particular you'd like?"

"Something warm and soothing." Kathryn glanced out the window at the falling rain. "Comfort food."

Chakotay smiled at her comment. Retrieving a few items from the replicator, he quickly prepared two dishes and put them in the oven to cook. He'd found that they both preferred things that took a little time to prepare and it saved on resources. He returned to the table.

"Let's start another game while dinner cooks."

"What's cooking?" Kathryn was curious enough about their meal to ask while she set up the board.

"Macaroni and cheese, and baked tomatoes. There are some of those berries we found for dessert."

"Sounds good. Ready to try for two in a row?"

"In your dreams, Kathryn." Chakotay watched as Kathryn considered a response to his opening move, wondering when she'd let down all the barriers between them. Distracted, he nearly allowed her to trap him in a fool's mate. He forced his attention back to the game telling himself, "In your dreams, old man, only in your dreams."

The next morning, they skies had cleared and the sun shown brightly on a still damp valley. Drops of water sparkled on the leaves and grass. Kathryn stepped out of the shelter to find Chakotay sitting outside with a morning cup of tea.

Chakotay glanced up when he heard her. "There's fresh coffee in the stasis unit."

"I found it. Mmm. That tastes good."

Chakotay motioned to the chair next to him. "I brought your chair out for you."

Kathryn sat next to him and they enjoyed the early morning sounds and compared the songs of the native birds to those from Earth. As they were getting ready to start the day, Kathryn noticed that a lot of insects had been forced to the surface by all the water in the soil. A few were unfamiliar to her. Shoving her cup into Chakotay's hand, she stood and picked up several.

"I haven't seen these before." Kathryn's excitement and curiosity took over. "I'll be right back."

Kathryn had the insects in the lab and was back out with another container before Chakotay had time to stand up.

"It makes perfect sense. I couldn't find them because I was looking for a flying or crawling insect. I never thought of a burrowing one." Kathryn was barely aware of Chakotay as she talked to herself. "It must have rained the day before we came down to the planet.

Chakotay smiled, knowing that until her desire for coffee overcame her determination to find a cure, she would be immersed in studying these latest specimens.

Two hours later, he took her a cup of coffee and some fruit, determined to get her to take a short break for breakfast. He found her staring blankly at the computer screen.

"What's wrong, Kathryn?"

"I found the virus. I've actually found the virus." Kathryn sounded as if she couldn't believe it. "And I think I can make a cure quite easily."

"You're sure about that?"

"I already have a vaccine that seems to work. It was so easy. I just don't understand why the doctor had so many problems."

"Maybe it's only effective on native creatures."

"That's possible but I think it has more to do with how our bodies reacted to the virus. I was just trying to decide how to test the cure."

"Sounds like a perfect time for a break then." Chakotay held out the coffee and fruit. "Come eat breakfast with me?"

Kathryn smiled. "All right, but only for a few minutes."

Chakotay managed to keep Kathryn talking about the insect and vaccine for nearly thirty minutes before she returned to the lab. He took a salad into the lab a few minutes later.

"Promise me you'll eat this in the next couple of hours?"

Kathryn looked at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"I'm going to take my lunch and work down at the river today. I just want your word that you'll eat some lunch while I'm gone. I know how focused you can get when you're working."

"I promise."

"Thank you. There are some leftover tomatoes in the stasis unit if you want more."

"Don't push your luck."

"I'm just letting you know. I'll be back before sunset."

Chakotay's last words were spoken to the back of Kathryn's head as she turned back to her project. Shaking his head, he gathered his carryall and headed for the river.

Chakotay returned as the sun was settling below the horizon to find Kathryn still at work in her lab. He glanced at the empty plate. At least she had eaten something.

"Hi. How's it going?"

Kathryn jumped when he spoke. "Can't you learn to make some noise when you come in? You scared me half to death." She looked up to meet his eyes. "I thought you were going to work late."

"Look outside, Kathryn. It's nearly dark." Chakotay smiled at her. "I wonder how long it would take before you realized I was missing if I got lost on the way home."

"As soon as I got hungry enough or the replicator broke." Kathryn returned his banter. "I'm making progress, real progress."

"Come talk to me while I fix dinner then we can start another game of chess."

"Well, all right." Kathryn was clearly reluctant to interrupt her work but a hastily stifled yawn persuaded her. "I am a bit tired and the next step will take at least a few hours." 

They interrupted their game to eat. An hour later, Chakotay realized they were both too tired to play well when he lost a rook to a pawn.

"I'm tired. What do you say we call it a night?"

"Just as I was winning?"

"We can finish tomorrow night."

"Agreed. I don't suppose your project at the river can wait a day, could it?" Kathryn's voice carried a hint of wheedling.

"Why?" Chakotay looked at her suspiciously.

"Well, the garden needs some attention but I really want to work in the lab. I was wondering whether…" Kathryn left her voice trail off as she all but asked Chakotay to do her share of the chores.

"I should tell you 'no' just to see what you'd say, even though I know how important your work in the lab is." Chakotay's voice faltered as Kathryn ran her hand down his arm.

"Please." Kathryn turned her eyes on him but it was her voice that broke Chakotay's resolve.

"All right. I'll weed the garden in the morning and you can fix us both lunch."

Kathryn started to protest but one look at his face told her he was not going to relent. His plan was reasonable and still allowed her to work in the lab all day.

"All right." Kathryn stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Kathryn. Sleep well." Chakotay watched Kathryn leave the room wishing the kiss had been more personal.

Chakotay was awakened by the crash of glass followed by some indistinct language that told him that Kathryn was quite comfortable with some of the more colorful epithets in the Klingon language. There was only the faint hint of light in the sky but Kathryn had not turned on the lights in the galley. He smiled. Losing a cup of coffee might teach her not to sneak around.

Kathryn nearly dropped her second cup of coffee when Chakotay turned on the lights in the galley. "I thought I told you not to sneak up on me."

"The light was off. How was I supposed to know you were up already and out here?"

Kathryn's glare intensified briefly before she turned without comment toward the lab. Chakotay smiled and started to prepare breakfast. Ten minutes later, he stuck his head around the corner.

"Come eat while it's still hot."

"Just… one… minute…. There! Ok. That needs to cool for thirty minutes." Kathryn turned a smile toward Chakotay. "What's for breakfast?"

"Fried mush and fresh fruit. Coffee if you're nice to me."

"Where do you get these recipes?" Kathryn wrinkled her nose but they both knew this was one of his favorite breakfasts.

"There's nothing wrong with the food I fix. Feel free to take over the cooking any time. Just let me know beforehand so I can…"

"Don't even say it." Kathryn interrupted his teasing. They ate in silence that was only broken as Chakotay refilled their coffee cups.

"You're in a better mood now."

"A cup of coffee and a real chance to find the cure for this virus – that's all it takes."

"Should I be offended?" Chakotay kept his tone light despite the flash of pain he felt at her words.

Kathryn protested immediately. "Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. I…"

"I know. I understand." Chakotay stood to clear the table. "Go on back to your research. I'll let you know when it's lunch time."

Kathryn paused by his side as she crossed the room and touched his shoulder briefly. Chakotay looked at her hand on his shoulder. He reached up with his opposite hand and touched hers gently as a slight smile created just a hint of a dimple. Neither knew quite what to say.

Chakotay finished in the garden earlier than he had expected and knew it was too early for lunch. Rather than delay his work at the river, he made sandwiches for them both, packing his and placing Kathryn's on a plate.

"Here's your lunch. Eat it when you get your next cup of coffee." Chakotay put the plate near Kathryn's coffee cup hoping she would see it later.

"You're not eating with me?" Kathryn's voice conveyed her surprise.

"It's too early. I'm taking mine with me. I'll be back before dark." Their eyes met as they exchanged smiles.

"Be careful." Kathryn knew it was almost a cliché but she wanted him to know she worried about him even if she didn't act like it very often.

"I will." Chakotay smiled and left.

Chakotay returned that evening to find the table set, dinner in the stasis chamber and Kathryn waiting with a bottle of wine in the living area. If the wine hadn't told him she was ready to celebrate, her smile would have.

"I take it you had a good day?" Chakotay intentionally played down the setting.

"Is that all you can say?" Kathryn's smile never wavered.

"Hi, honey. I'm home?" They both broke into laughter as Chakotay quoted a twentieth-century phrase that Tom loved. "Seriously, what exactly did you accomplish today?"

"I'm pretty sure I developed the cure." Kathryn handed the wine bottle to Chakotay. "You get to do the honors."

Chakotay carefully opened the bottle and filled their glasses. "So tell me, how far did you get exactly?"

"I finished synthesizing the cure only an hour or so after you left. Then I started running every test I could think of. They all worked. If I saw this type of results from someone else's tests, I would accuse them of falsifying data. I even ran some of them two or three times in case I'd made a mistake or missed something. The only thing left is to try it on myself."

Kathryn asked about Chakotay's project and they discussed that while they ate dinner. As they were enjoying a final cup of coffee, Chakotay returned the topic to her research.

"You can show me the test results in the morning. If I can't add anything, you can test the cure on me."

"On you?"

"Yes. If I have a bad reaction, you'll know better how to deal with it. If it doesn't work, you'll need to run more tests and it's easier to get readings from another person than from yourself, especially if you need to draw blood."

"I don't know…" Kathryn sounded very uncertain about Chakotay's suggestion. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. It's the safest way to proceed at this point."

"All right." Kathryn yielded finally. "If you don't mind, I think I'll take a bath tonight."

"The perfect end to a perfect day?"

"Almost perfect." Kathryn turned and left Chakotay wondering exactly what she meant.

Lunch the next day found Chakotay feeling like a lab rat. Kathryn had given him a hypo with the treatment several hours earlier and had been scanning him every five minutes since then. She had wanted him to go to bed, but he had refused. They had compromised on a game of chess but Kathryn's constant scanning and fussing put them both off their games. Late in the afternoon, she drew blood to run some tests. Chakotay was relieved. For an hour, she was in the lab instead of scanning him constantly.

"So far, so good." Kathryn emerged from the lab with the test results. "It's working."

"That wonderful. Congratulations on your success."

"Our success. You do most of the work around here so I can work in the lab."

The next day, Kathryn was content to scan Chakotay only every hour or so. When she broached the subject of taking the cure herself, Chakotay was firm. "No. Not for at least a week. It's barely been twenty-four hours. Let's make sure it works before we try it on you."

Her confidence in the safety and effectiveness of the treatment was considerable. Every day they delayed now reduced their chances of catching Voyager, which were already faint. It had been a long time since Kathryn had taken orders from anyone and she wasn't going to give in so easily. While Chakotay was busy preparing dinner, Kathryn went into the lab and pressed a hypospray against her neck before running another test on a blood sample from Chakotay.

Three days later, Chakotay had a reaction to the treatment. He collapsed when he got up and Kathryn barely got him back in his bed. She grabbed a tricorder and tried to find out what had happened. She quickly learned that the cause of his collapse was the chemicals breaking down in his system. There was nothing she could do to stop the breakdown.

For two days, Kathryn hovered over Chakotay. Most of the time, he tossed on his bed in a restless sleep. Occasionally he dropped into a more peaceful sleep. When he was more alert, she tried to help him drink some water. When she tried to give him solid food, he nearly choked so she settled for broth the next time he was alert. What little sleep she got was in a chair next to his bed.

Late in the afternoon on the second day, Chakotay's breathing slowed drastically and he fell into a deep sleep. For two hours Kathryn sat next to him willing him to take another breath talking to him constantly, urging him to live. When his breathing slowly returned to normal, she allowed herself to relax slightly. An hour later, he roused enough to ask for water but fell into a sound sleep as soon as he had managed a few swallows.

The next morning, Chakotay struggled to his feet and made it to the bathroom and galley on his own. He managed to drink some fruit juice but only nibbled on his toast before returning to his bed. After that, he made constant but slow progress.

It was another two days before Kathryn realized that she had not had the same reaction to the treatment and started running tests on both of them. By the time Chakotay was starting to help out in the garden again, she had the answer, or as much of an answer as she was going to get. Something in his physiology had broken down the chemicals, which in turn had triggered his reaction. The most likely explanation was the combination of hormones in his system but she couldn't be sure.

That night Kathryn sat watching the stars considering what she knew. One thing Kathryn was sure about was that the reaction had negated the effectiveness of the treatment for Chakotay. The other thing she knew was that she was cured. Kathryn stretched in her chair and stood to go into the shelter. Chakotay had gone to bed hours earlier, worn out from his activities that day. She walked softly to his door and stared at him as he slept. She could leave the planet; he could not.

"You did what?" Chakotay's voice was raised in anger, the first real anger Kathryn had seen him display in months.

"I took the treatment." Kathryn was trying to remain calm and give Chakotay time to control his reaction.

"What were you thinking?"  Chakotay knew he was going too far, but his concern for her health demanded expression.

"Maybe in hindsight it seems like I wasn't thinking, but at the time, the treatment seemed safe and was working. It was safe – for me." Kathryn took a deep breath. "Now sit down. There are a few more things you need to know."

"There's more?" As Kathryn started to turn away, he forced himself to calm down. "I'm sorry. Give me a few minutes."

"All right. I'm going to get us lemonade and go outside. Join me when you're ready."

Chakotay nodded and Kathryn left. It was a good thing he loved her or he'd probably never forgive her for taking risks like the one she had just admitted. He sighed in resignation knowing he would not have been so angry if he didn't love her. He had a pretty good idea of what she had to tell him. The treatment had worked and they could go after Voyager. That was the end of his dream of removing barriers. He lifted his head slightly and turned to follow Kathryn outside.

Kathryn had taken the lemonade to her favorite tree and made herself comfortable on the grass. As Chakotay approached, she filled his glass and handed it to him after he sat down.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Chakotay spoke quietly. "I still think you were wrong to act without at least telling me."

"I'm sorry, too. I should have told you." Kathryn paused as if considering what to say next. "I understand your caution now. For a while, I was afraid you would die. I never meant to put your life at risk. Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Kathryn. We both thought any reaction would occur in a day or two." Chakotay smiled at Kathryn. "Friends?"

Kathryn nodded. "There are a few more things that I've learned about the cure's effectiveness."

"You mean it doesn't work?"

"No, it works. The problem is that whatever triggered your reaction was a result of the chemicals breaking down in your system. It would have worked but it didn't have time."

"My system was breaking it down?"

"I think it was some combination of your hormones, but I'm not sure. I would have needed blood samples to check the levels before you reacted and I didn't save the samples after my initial tests. If we try to use it again, I'm afraid your reaction could kill you."

"So we can't leave after all." Chakotay was relieved yet saddened by the news. He was content to stay on the planet with Kathryn, but he knew it would be difficult for her to accept the situation.

"I didn't have a reaction, Chakotay." Kathryn spoke in a sad whisper.

At first Chakotay didn't understand the significance of her words, then realization swept over him. "Your body didn't break down the chemicals. The treatment worked." 

Chakotay whispered the dreaded words. "You can leave."

Chakotay picked up his glass and drained it. After setting it carefully next to the pitcher, he stood up. "I'll make a list of what needs to be done to prepare the shuttle tonight and start work on the systems tomorrow. Right now I'm going to take a walk down to the river."

Kathryn watched him slowly head down the trail towards the river. She had expected him to argue with her about trying to catch Voyager or about trying to make the journey with only one person. She had made him all too aware of her commitment to rejoining Voyager at any cost. Why should she be surprised that he thought abandoning him on a planet for the rest of his life was worth achieving her goal?

Chakotay struggled with his emotions until he reached the river. Once there, he relaxed his control and allowed his sorrow and anger to take over. It was an hour before he was calm enough to think rationally.

For a few short months, his dream had been within reach. He had given Kathryn time to accept her life on this planet believing that once she had done that she would admit her feelings for him. Her dream had always been to return to Voyager and now that was a possibility.

All the arguments about her attempting to catch Voyager on her own were against her trying. She knew them all as well as he did and in the end, she would make her own decision.

Chakotay struggled with his options – let her go or spend their last few days together fighting. Either way, all he would have left were his memories. He didn't want his last memories of Kathryn to be angry words; he preferred the evenings playing chess or just talking, and the days spent working in the garden with her. The dream would remain a dream. The memories would have to be enough.

Chakotay returned in late afternoon and immediately started preparing dinner. Kathryn was working in the garden and followed him into the shelter. He worked silently and placed the food on the table. Without waiting for Kathryn, he began to eat as he scanned a padd. Kathryn sat across from him but only picked at her food.

"Aren't you going to try to talk me out of going?" Kathryn broke the strained silence.

"No."

Chakotay was not going to make it easy for her.

"Are you going to talk to me at all?"

"Of course. I'm just concentrating on this checklist. I think I can have the shuttle ready in three days, two if you help me with some of the systems checks." Chakotay seemed almost detached.

"I'm beginning to feel like you want me to leave." Kathryn's voice carried a hint of challenge.

"I don't want you to leave, Kathryn." Chakotay stared blankly at the padd for a few seconds. "Look, I am not going to spend the last few days with you fighting about this. I don't even want to discuss it. I know how much you want to rejoin Voyager so I'm doing my best to help you."

Kathryn stood and held out her hand. "Come, take a walk with me."

Chakotay started to refuse but Kathryn's steady gaze and outstretched hand were more than he could refuse. Once outside, Kathryn started down the trail to the river. She knew it was Chakotay's favorite spot and tonight it seemed appropriate to talk there. She didn't release his hand as they walked along the path. She felt him relaxing slightly as they neared the river.

As they approached the river, Chakotay steered them toward a sandy stretch near some rocks that made a good backrest. He was puzzled about her reaction and wondered what she wanted to talk about. He had expected her to be bustling around the shelter preparing to leave instead of weeding the garden when he returned.

Chakotay sat down then helped Kathryn settle next to him. She sat close to him and leaned against his arm. He waited for her to start the conversation, but she seemed content to watch the river and listen to the sounds of the night. Finally, he broke the silence.

"You wanted to talk, Kathryn."

"Actually, I asked you to take a walk with me." Kathryn was sorry he had broken the silence. "But you're right, I do want to talk. I'm just not sure how to begin without making it sound like an accusation. Maybe the best way is to ask you a question. Why do you think I want to leave without you?"

"You can leave; I can't. You want to rejoin Voyager and the sooner you leave the greater your chances of success. You take your responsibilities seriously and Voyager is your responsibility."

"What do you think my chances of catching Voyager are?"

"So close to zero that the difference wouldn't bother even Tuvok."

"You're probably right – about my chances of success. I'm not so sure that Tuvok would accept zero as accurate enough." Kathryn sighed. "You're going to find this hard to believe, but I don't want to go. I'm not going to go."

"You're not?" Chakotay was finding it hard to believe. "Just like that, you're abandoning your hopes?"

"Not just like that and I'm not giving up hope but I know that I can't make the trip alone. I might be foolhardy when it comes to my personal safety but I'm not suicidal. Even I know that practically zero means I'd be killed in the attempt or stranded on my own somewhere else."

Kathryn shivered and Chakotay realized she had left the shelter without a jacket or sweater. He shifted his arm around her and she gratefully moved closer enjoying the heat given off by his body. She sighed contentedly.

"That's not the reason I'm not going though."

"It's not?" Chakotay was confused.

"Well, it's enough to keep me here but even if I could be 100% sure I'd catch Voyager, I wouldn't leave now." Kathryn paused for Chakotay to ask, but he remained quiet, so she continued. "I don't want to leave you."

"You don't need to stay here with me. I'll be fine."

"No, I don't want to leave you. I want to stay here with you. Weeks and weeks ago, you told me a legend. Well, what I'm trying to say is that the beautiful woman warrior found peace and love with the angry warrior and is finally willing to admit it to herself… and to him."

Kathryn waited for Chakotay to respond. When he didn't, she forced back the tears that threatened to expose her pain. It was another minute before she felt she could speak without her voice breaking. "I'm sorry, Chakotay. I must have misunderstood your legend."

Finally, Chakotay reacted. He reached his free hand to her chin and tilted it so he could look in her eyes. "You didn't misunderstand." He moved his head down and kissed her gently, then more fervently. He broke the kiss and pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He kissed her again before putting her away from him and climbing to his feet.

Chakotay held out his hands and pulled Kathryn to his feet and into his arms. Looking down at her, he spoke. "Let's go home." Kathryn only nodded and together they turned and headed back up the path toward the shelter.

Six weeks later, they were roused from sleep by the chirp of a combadge. Chakotay leaned awkwardly across Kathryn and fumbled in the drawer by the nightstand.

"Voyager to Janeway." Tuvok's voice was easily recognized if a bit crackly.

Chakotay tapped the badge and handed it to Kathryn. 

"Janeway here."

"We have obtained the cure for the virus with the assistance of Denara Pel. We expect to establish a standard orbit in thirty-one hours."

"Tuvok, it's the middle of the night here. Can you contact us in six hours?"

"Of course. My apologies, Captain. Tuvok out."

Kathryn put the badge back on the nightstand and turned back to Chakotay's arms but she couldn't sleep. One thought kept racing through her mind. If the treatment they brought were the same one she had developed, it wouldn't work on Chakotay. She shifted uneasily for half an hour before Chakotay spoke.

"Kathryn, worrying about that cure won't do either of us any good. We'll find out when they get here."

"What are we going to do if it is the same? You still won't be able to leave."

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. Even if it is the same, Denara Pel might know how to adapt it so it doesn't break down for me." Kathryn shifted again. "Please, Kathryn. We only have a day to wait. Then we'll know."

At that moment, Kathryn wanted nothing more than to pound on Chakotay's chest in frustration. "How can you be so calm about this?"

"Because right now one of us needs to be calm. I know what's at risk. For six weeks, I've lived my dream. I've held you and loved you. Nothing can take that from us. Two days from now, my dream may be nothing but a memory."

"Thank you for not saying 'at least you'll have Voyager'. That would have hurt."

"I know. Now go back to sleep. We'll take a picnic to the river tomorrow and enjoy the sunshine."

The next morning, Kathryn was up before dawn and on a link with Denara Pel. She sent her all her studies and tests and described in meticulous detail the steps she had taken. She had gotten to the information about Chakotay's reaction when he joined her in the galley.

"Good morning." Chakotay greeted her formally, mindful of the open comm channel. Kathryn was not so careful.

"Morning." She grabbed his shirt as he walked past and pulled on it until he bent to kiss her. She whispered in his ear as the kiss ended. "They know that was your combadge last night and they could hear you breathing."

"Captain, do you want to take a break now and continue later?" Denara Pel's voice interrupted further whispers.

"No. Chakotay just got up. He's fixing breakfast at the moment. Let's continue."

"I don't want to intrude."

"Trust me. You're not intruding."

"As you wish. Now about the readings you took the first day he was ill…"

After Kathryn finished with Denara Pel, she talked briefly with Tuvok.

"Ready for that picnic?" Kathryn looked up at Chakotay and nodded her agreement before getting a blanket while Chakotay assembled their lunch.

Kathryn and Chakotay spent the rest of the day away from the shelter enjoying their favorite spots. One way or another, it was probably the last time they would visit those spots together. Sunset found them sitting on a slight rise near the shelter watching the stars come out.

"What if the remedy Denara Pel has won't work on you, Chakotay? What am I going to do?" Kathryn's voice was sad and worried.

Chakotay brushed his lips over her temple. "You'll go with Voyager. There is no other choice you can make."

"I could stay with you."

"Not and still be the woman I love."

"I love you. You think I can just abandon you here?" Chakotay could hear the desperation in Kathryn's voice.

"I think you can't abandon your crew. You're responsible for Voyager and your crew and you take your responsibilities seriously. You have to go. I know that and I will miss you terribly."

"I don't want to leave you." Kathryn huddled against Chakotay. "Hold me, just hold me."

Chakotay wrapped her in his arms wishing he could shield her but knowing he couldn't.

Voyager was in orbit and Kathryn and Chakotay were waiting near the shelter for Denara Pel to beam down. The sparkle of the transporter heralded the arrival of the person who would tell them whether they would both be able to leave.

"Captain, Commander, it's a pleasure to see you both again."

"I can't thank you enough for helping us, Denara."

"I'm glad to assist you. It's nice to know some of my work will have a lasting effect for someone." Denara Pel held up a medical tricorder. "Now, before I comment on what I've learned from your research, I'd like to run a few tests on you both. Mostly I need to confirm information you provided and from your medical histories. It won't take long."

Denara worked quickly and finished with Chakotay in only a few minutes. She turned to the captain and seemed surprised by her readings. She glanced up at Kathryn moving only her eyes before adjusting the tricorder and finishing her tests.

Denara looked up. "Let's go into the shelter and have something to drink while I recheck my conclusions. I also need to get something from the doctor."

"Of course. Please come in."

Kathryn motioned her to sit at the table while Chakotay got them all coffee then sat down next to Kathryn across from Denara. The chess board caught Denara's eye. "What is that?"

"It's a chess board. You'll have to get the doctor to tell you about it."

"A game to pass the evening?"

"Or a rainy day, yes." Kathryn answered but was anxious for Denara to finish her work, so she dropped a not very subtle hint. "Do you want to speak to the doctor in private?"

"No. That's not necessary."

Quickly Denara contacted the doctor and requested a specific drug, which appeared in short order on the table next to her. Denara continued her work for about five more minutes then looked up. "I won't bore you with the specifics, but I'm going to give you both the treatment we developed."

"Both of us?" Kathryn's surprise was clear.

Denara looked uncomfortable. "Were you aware that you're pregnant, Captain?"

"I'm what?" Kathryn's face was all the answer Denara needed to know that the captain was not only unaware of the fact but hadn't considered it a possibility. Chakotay was stunned into silence.

"One of the effects of your treatment was to counteract your birth control. You noticed the impact of hormones on the treatment you developed but you didn't notice the effect it had on your other medications. Your baby is not protected from the virus so I need to inject you to keep the baby from developing symptoms. It will take about twenty-four hours for these to take full effect." She pulled a hypospray out of the pack she carried and held it up. "If you're ready, Commander?"

Chakotay finally found his voice. "Yes, yes of course." Denara stood and walked around the table and quickly injected Chakotay. Then she picked up the drug the doctor had sent down and added it to the hypo before stepping closer to Kathryn.

"What did you add to that?"

"Just something to make sure it crosses the placental barrier. That's why the baby is not protected from the virus already."

Kathryn nodded and Denara pressed the hypospray against her neck. She moved toward the door.

"I think you two could use some privacy. I'll be back in six hours to check on you."

"Thank you." Kathryn managed to remember her manners.

She was pregnant. They could both leave tomorrow. She was pregnant. She was going back to Voyager. She was pregnant. She wouldn't have to leave Chakotay. 

Chakotay. He hadn't said a word to her yet.

"Chakotay? Say something." Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay.

"I'm not sure what to say. It was too fast, too easy. Then she tells us you're pregnant. I'm trying to catch up on what I feel." Chakotay slowly turned his head to face Kathryn. "It's all working out the way we hoped. It's too easy, too perfect. I'm trying to figure out the bad news but there isn't any. We're both going back to Voyager and you're pregnant!"

"I'm pregnant." Kathryn focused on his last words then was quiet another minute before she started chuckling. Soon she was laughing. She reached out to Chakotay and wrapped her arms around him, still laughing. Soon the tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Kathryn, what's wrong?" Chakotay held her close but he was getting worried.

"Nothing." Kathryn struggled to speak as she looked up at Chakotay's disbelieving face. "Really. There's nothing wrong."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Stress I think. I've been so worried since Tuvok first contacted us. It's all ok now."

"That explains the crying, but why were you laughing?"

"The same reason I think – stress. But I'm happy." Kathryn looked at Chakotay. "I didn’t think I could be happier than I have been these last few weeks, but I was wrong. I'm going to have a baby – your baby."

Chakotay pulled her closer. "I know exactly what you mean, Kathryn."

"You're not having any qualms about serving with a pregnant captain?"

"I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I'll manage… somehow." Chakotay voice was teasing but turned serious. "And I'll love every minute of it, too."

"I'm serious. What do we tell the crew?"

"We could tell them we did more than play chess while we were here."

"That's stating the obvious or soon to be obvious." Kathryn chuckled at the double meaning of her words.

"Then let's just tell them that our wildest dreams have come true."

"That's enough?"

"It's more than enough." Chakotay silenced further discussion quite effectively to Kathryn's complete satisfaction.