If anyone had been able to see him, they would have thought Chakotay was deeply immersed in B’Elanna’s latest plan to increase warp core efficiency. Although more than competent to assist in engineering, Chakotay was not an engineer by training or temperament, so such intense concentration was not unusual when he was dealing with B’Elanna’s more innovative ideas. Anyone would have been wrong.

Chakotay was deep in thought, but not about warp core efficiency. Something had been bothering him in the back of his mind for the last few days. He had been vaguely aware of it, but hadn’t figured out quite what it was. Earlier this evening in the middle of a pool game with Tom, he realized what had been bothering him was the captain. She wasn’t even in Sandrine’s; rather, she was finishing a late shift on the bridge. Chakotay shook off the idea. There was nothing in her mood or attitude that would make him think something was bothering her. She hadn’t said anything or avoided any conversations or topics.  She hadn’t been unduly quiet or irritable. But he couldn’t shake his feeling that something was not as it should be with the captain.  Finally he realized that Kathryn’s behavior had changed very subtly over the last few months. The realization that there might really be something wrong distracted Chakotay from his game. When Chakotay left the holodeck at the end of the evening, he knew Tom would be eating on his rations for at least a week.

When Chakotay returned to his quarters, he tried to identify the changes in Kathryn’s behavior when they had first appeared. Once he started looking for the changes, he found that there were many of them. One of the more recent changes he identified was Kathryn asking him to her quarters for more working meals.  Although a common occurrence, the frequency had increased over a period of weeks until they had become daily. The only time they did not eat dinner together was when one of them had a late shift on the bridge.  He also realized that over the last few months, Kathryn had been making an appearance in the mess hall almost every time Chakotay was there. She wasn’t always eating but she was always there.  Again the exceptions were when her duty shifts interfered.  As the pieces of the puzzle began to accumulate, he realized that when they were on the same shift, she spent more and more time working on the bridge and far less time alone in her ready room.  In fact, unless someone was with her, she barely entered her ready room except to get a cup of coffee.

When not on duty, her behavior had been exhibiting similar changes.  She was showing up in Sandrine’s more often without being prompted. When invited, she almost always accepted, again the exception was when Chakotay had bridge duty and would not be there.  For the last two of Neelix’s morale parties, she had asked what time he was picking her up when he suggested they attend together.  Two years ago, he would have had to argue for an hour to get her to even consider attending.  Looking back, he didn’t know how she had finagled it, but he had been with her on four of her nocturnal prowls of Voyager’s lower decks in the last two months.  That was probably what had started the nagging at the back of his mind.  Those prowls had been her time with her ship for years.  Now she wanted company?

Chakotay thought back over their private conversations during the last few months.  Again, she had said nothing that would indicate something was not as it should be, nothing that he would consider out of the ordinary.  She hadn’t avoided any topics of conversation.  She didn’t seem to be avoiding any crewmembers.  He knew she wasn’t avoiding him.  In light of the mess hall and bridge behaviors, she seemed to be more than willing to spend time in his presence and in the presence of the crew.  If he didn’t know better, he might even think she had been seeking him out.

Individually, none of her actions was unusual.  Collectively over time, they constituted a fairly significant change.  But was that change bad?  Kathryn was finally doing what Chakotay and half the crew had wanted her to do since they found themselves in the Delta Quadrant.  Was the change an indicator of a major problem?  Or merely acceptance of Voyager’s circumstances?  Or was he just being paranoid?  Had he become so accustomed to worrying about the captain that he was now finding things to worry about when she was doing what he thought she should?  Now who had a problem?

Chakotay’s thoughts were interrupted by his door chime.  He glanced at the chronometer: 23:00.  Not that late, but late enough that it was most likely Kathryn.

“Come.”

Chakotay was correct.  It was Kathryn, also dressed in casual clothing but not barefoot like he was.

“Chakotay, am I interrupting you?  If I am, just say so and I’ll leave.”

“No, Kathryn.  I was just wrestling with one of B’Elanna’s reports.”

“The one about warp core efficiency?”

“Yes. I hope you’re having better luck with it than I am.  Even you can’t keep up with her when she gets involved with a new scheme for her engines so you can imagine how lost I am.  I could use a break right about now and you look like you just came off a double shift on the bridge.  Would you like something to drink, juice, tea . . .?”

“Surprise me with something calming.  And you know very well that I did just come off a double shift on the bridge.  I’m going to have to have a long talk with my first officer about it tomorrow.  He seems to expect me to take my fair share of duty shifts.”

They both smiled; she had told him specifically that he was not taking all the double shifts for the both of them.  It was the closest thing to an argument between the two of them in the last six months.  He had given in to the argument, but had managed to take more than two-thirds of the double shifts without her noticing that about half his double shifts started before Alpha shift instead of following.  He hoped she didn’t find out or there would be hell to pay for that deception.

She wandered over to his viewport while he was getting them something to drink.  As he turned from the replicator, he watched her for a moment before taking their drinks to the table and taking a seat at the end of the couch.  He didn’t know why she was here, but she did.  He would follow her lead.  Finally Kathryn turned away from the viewport and approached the couch.  She sat next to Chakotay.  That wasn’t unusual.  What was unusual was that she sat right on the edge of what would be considered "his" space, not that he was complaining.

“The tea is good.  What is it?  Some old family recipe?”

“No.  Some new family recipe.  It’s a blend of herbs collected from half a dozen planets in the Delta Quadrant plus a few of my favorites from the Alpha Quadrant.  I’d have to ask the computer for the specifics.”  They sat in companionable silence, sipping their tea, each comfortable in the other’s presence.  Finally after 45 minutes, Chakotay broke the silence.

“Kathryn, you know you’re always welcome here so don’t ever think you need a reason to visit me, but you’ve never just dropped in before.  Why did you come tonight?”

Chakotay had expected her to make a mad dash to the door, but she didn’t move except to set her empty cup next to his on the table.  Her expression showed she was thinking about what she would say.  It was at least five minutes before she answered him.  He was expecting a long discourse on her reasons, so was surprised by her brevity.

“I was lonely.”

“There are more people at Sandrine’s.  Why come here?”

“If I went to Sandrine’s and you weren’t there, I’d still be lonely.  I’m not lonely when I’m with you.”

Kathryn sounded as surprised at her words as Chakotay was.  He looked into her eyes and saw the surprise and acceptance of what her words meant.  His eyes conveyed surprise, then awareness of the unspoken words, followed by relief, happiness and finally caution.  So few words; so much communication.  Chakotay hesitated to initiate a question and answer session.

“Computer, reduce lights to one-third.  Play selection Chakotay dance 4, selection 10 only, on repeat.”  Not asking, merely taking her hand, Chakotay pulled Kathryn to her feet and into the open area closer to the door where he took her in his arms and began to dance.  Kathryn leaned into his arms without urging, placing both arms around his neck and leaning her head on his chest.  Chakotay leaned his cheek on top of her head and enjoyed having her in his arms.

Kathryn relaxed, listening to the sound of Chakotay’s heartbeat and the soft tones playing that one song over and over.  She didn’t understand why he had chosen to listen to only one song rather than a series of songs with the same mood, but it was a soothing melody, simple but not too monotonous.  As she moved to the music, she realized that she had heard this song before, but not on Voyager.  Her mind traced back over the years, trying to find the place where the song fit.  At last her memory connected the song with events.  She had only heard this song played at gatherings for family and friends, never at official or public functions.  She was fairly certain there had been words with the song but she couldn’t remember the words.  Oh, well, who needed words when the song was so perfect for dancing in Chakotay’s arms?  She sighed in contentment.

Chakotay felt rather than heard Kathryn’s sigh, but she seemed more than content where she was, close in his arms dancing to the music of a very old song.  He had not selected this song at random.  The words to the song kept running through his head until he found himself humming them softly in Kathryn’s ear.  The words that Kathryn could not bring to mind when only music played finally surfaced as Chakotay hummed their melody.

Now Kathryn understood why Chakotay had chosen to repeat this one song.  He had a question but he wasn’t going to break the mood of the evening by asking it.  He left it unspoken except by the music.  If Kathryn understood the question and wanted to answer it, she would.  If she didn’t understand or didn’t want to answer the question, then nothing would change.  Kathryn knew what her answer was, but she didn’t want to break the spell of dancing with Chakotay.  She was more at peace at this moment in his arms than she had been since they came to the Delta Quadrant.  She wanted to hold onto this moment, this feeling, forever.  Yet there was something she wanted even more: to hold on to Chakotay forever.

Kathryn stopped dancing, looked up at Chakotay and said, “Yes.”  Chakotay looked into her eyes, and then lowered his lips to hers.  The first kiss was gentle and questioning, seeking confirmation for her words.  Finding that confirmation, the second kiss was not so gentle; it changed, becoming more passionate as it continued.  The music continued playing long after he carried her to his bed to finish the dance.