Kathryn and Chakotay were still laughing when they reached Kathryn's cabin after they left Tom and B'Elanna's. They had been invited for dinner and drinks with half a dozen others.  After dinner, Tom had somehow gotten on the topic of the wildest party then moved on to the wildest night of his life.  Poor Harry had made the mistake of following Tom's lead and told about his wildest night.  Never to be outdone, Tom asked Harry about the best night he had spent with a woman and Harry had turned about six shades of red and purple all at once.  At that point Kathryn and Chakotay had exchanged looks and made their escape using crew evaluations and other duties as their excuse.

Kathryn didn't even ask him in, she just entered her cabin expecting him to follow which he did.  Kathryn took the steaming mug of coffee and another of tea from the replicator and sauntered over to the couch, a grin still plastered to her face. "So, Chakotay, tell me about that one special night."

"Kathryn," he protested, "I thought we left the others to avoid answering that question."

"We left to avoid telling them.  Now, are you going to tell me?" she repeated trying not to laugh.

"Why don't you go first?" he asked.

"Because I asked you first and I'm the captain," she said.

"That doesn't work for me," he said, "not here, and not when I'm off duty."

"It will.  I will wheedle until you talk," she countered. "Eventually you will tell me."

"Why do you want to know about my most memorable lover?"  He stopped and tried to stare at his tea.  Kathryn's glare held and eventually he looked up to meet her eyes.  "Okay, okay!  Fine, I'll tell you.  Let me think, the one lover that just stands out from all the rest."

"Come on!  You have to have one; everyone does," she said.

"Well, there is one and I have to admit, no one else ever came close…but I keep hoping someone will take her place in my memories."  His words almost made Kathryn back down but since that was what she thought he was hoping she pushed on.

"What? Tell me," she demanded.

Chakotay grinned at her.  "Where should I start?"

"How about how you met her?"  Chakotay thought back over the years.  He had been truthful.  He had no trouble selecting the one night and the one woman who stood out from all the others.  Even now he had trouble considering it a one-night stand.  He started speaking slowly.

"I had been sent with three other men to Tak'liod to train some local security officers in the latest in terrorist tactics.  We'd been doing most of the training in the field and didn’t get much opportunity for leave.  I finally managed to get enough time to get into the nearest town but we were so far out most of my leave was spent traveling to and from our base.  I got into town and managed to get a cheap room with a shower but my clothes and hair were a mess.  That room was cheap but it had a bed and I actually took a nap during the afternoon.  It felt pretty good after weeks of sleeping in the field.  I got up and found a cheap diner to get some food then wandered around the streets for a couple of hours.  I ended up in a very seedy neighborhood but with my clothes I fit right in.  I found this bar and stool away from the door where I could watch people.  I bought a drink and then every half hour or so, I'd slip a coin onto the counter to cover the price of taking up space at the bar.  During lulls in the drinking the bartender and I talked.  Judrup and I understood each other.  Small talk, no personal questions and only if it didn't interfere with his business or my pleasure.

"I'd been there three or four hours and was on my second drink when I noticed her walk in.  She glanced around as if she were nervous, then tossed her head and headed for a stool at the bar.  She stood out from the rest of the patrons, or rather her clothes stood out.  Something about the way she had tossed her head made me want to get to know her but I didn't think I was quite what she was looking for that night.  I was certain she was meeting someone because she kept glancing at the door every time it opened.  Judrup wandered down to my end of the bar.  He mentioned something about her being pretty and feisty, a real handful.  I agreed and told him that her next drink was on me but not to tell her who paid for it.  He was subtle.  It was about ten minutes later when he put another drink in front of her.  She asked him something but he just smiled and shook his head.  She looked around but didn't seem to find what she was looking for.

"About that time a group of locals came in, loud and noisy and shouting out their orders as they moved to take over a corner.  Half a dozen other patrons moved quickly to give them the tables and chairs.  From their faces, I know this relocation was not a new experience.  One of them took the stool next to me mumbling.

"About ten minutes after they came in, I noticed the leader of the gang was eyeing the woman I had been watching.  He wasn't just eyeing her, he was staring at her and the stare wasn't too friendly.  She must have felt the stare because she started to fidget on her stool.  That cocky attitude seemed to be faltering.  I looked at Judrup.  He too had noticed Staring Eyes and the woman's growing nervousness.  He drifted down by me and said one word.  Trouble.  I nodded and took my drink and moved to a vacant stool next to the woman.

"She looked at me and visibly relaxed when she saw I wasn't one of the rowdy crowd.  She kept her head down and I took the opportunity to study her to the extent I could in the dim light.  Her hair looked pale, almost blond and was very short.  I couldn't see her eyes under her bangs even when she turned my way but her skin was fair.  Her voice was husky from the alcohol.  It was a cheap local brew that even had my voice sounding strange.  She made a comment about it being the holiday season on Earth now.  I made a comment about the weather being more traditional in '63 since there was no El Niño that year.  We talked and she was slowly getting more comfortable with me.  She told me her name was Jane.  I told her mine was Chad because that's what the locals had been calling me.  We both knew those weren't our real names.  I asked her why she was in this bar.  She said she was supposed to be meeting one of her friends.  I asked if she was sure she was in the right place.  The look on her face told me it hadn't occurred to her that this was the wrong bar.  She had given the name of the bar she wanted to the cab driver and he had dropped her in front of this one.  Turned out she was supposed to be at the Raptor's Aerie and had ended up at the Eagle's Nest.  Universal translators are not always what they're supposed to be – especially the cheap ones carried by cabbies."

Kathryn shifted on the couch but said nothing so Chakotay continued.

"Well, Staring Eyes kept getting louder and the number of drinks taken to his corner were increasing.  I knew he was going to be coming over sooner rather than later.  Since I had no desire to practice hand to hand, I asked Jane whether she was aware of Staring Eyes.  Turned out she was and was eager to leave to find her friend.  I told her that there would be no cabs in this part of town unless they were dropping someone off.  She asked me for directions to the Raptor's Aerie and started to look a little scared when I told her how far it was.  I hadn't planned to pick anyone up, especially in that neighborhood, but I couldn't let her wander around alone so I offered to walk with her until we found her a cab.

"Jane hesitated until she heard a shout from the corner for another round of drinks.  She nodded her acceptance of my offer and stood up.  I tossed some more coins on the counter for Judrup and followed her outside.  I was no native who knew every short cut in the city, but I knew enough to get her out of that neighborhood.  I decided that she would enjoy the stretch along the beach so picked the route that took us that direction.  In the daytime it was busy with locals enjoying the sun and water.  I knew for I had spent the afternoon there when I first arrived.  Jane and I talked as we walked laughing and talking.  Once we were safely out of his vicinity, we had a good laugh about Staring Eyes.  She stumbled and grabbed my arm to keep from falling.  I thought at first she forgot to let go until I felt her shiver.  I was dressed for the cool night on Tak'liod but she hadn't planned on being out in the night air.  I put my arm around her and she moved closer forcing me to shorten my steps to match hers.

"I hadn't realized how small she was until that moment.  That attitude she had and her self assurance made her seem taller and stronger somehow.   You would have liked her, Kathryn.  Anyway, we walked and talked about all sorts of things but never about ourselves.   I had planned to walk as far as the last street before the beach then turn toward the main part of the city but when I started to turn the corner she stopped.  She didn't say a word, just stopped walking.  I nearly tripped over her but she didn't seem to notice.  She was staring at the beach and the pathetic excuse Tak'liod has for a moon.  I told her the night breeze would be colder along the beach but she just stared out over the sand and water.  She never said she wanted to walk along the beach; she never even mentioned it until we had sand in our shoes.  She just stood there until I took a step towards the sand, then she moved with me.  It was the last time that night that she was reluctant to let me know what she wanted."

Chakotay's mind recalled the rest of that night even as his words faded.  Kathryn was lost in thought and didn't seem to notice he had stopped talking.
 

Chad watched as Jane bent down, still holding on to him with one hand and slipping her shoes off with the other. She seemed to delight in the way the sand squished through her toes. "It's been a while," she said softly.

"I was able to enjoy it when I first came to Tak'liod," he said, filling in the silence.

Jane let out a throaty laugh, pointing off to the small playground a short distance away. "It's been years since I've been on a swing."

Chad joined in her playful mood. "Then there's no time like the present," he said leading her towards the swing set.  Once there she sat herself down on the swing, her small hands grasping the rope. Chad had to chuckle at the sight -- her feet did touch the ground but just barely.   Sure, the swing she had chosen was higher than the others but it was still funny.  He moved around to the back and took hold of the ropes near her hands, bent down and whispered in her ear sending a shiver up her spine. "Hold on tight."

Chad pulled back and let go, watching the swing slowly move away from him, her legs swinging in an attempt to give the swing more momentum.  Each time it came back to him, he placed his hands gently on the seat, grazing her buttocks lightly as he gave the swing another small push.

Jane seemed to enjoy it, leaning back as far as she could as the swing swung up, looking over her shoulder to watch Chad smile in delight.  Finally she let her legs fall, slowing the swing down and eventually bringing it to a halt.

She stood up. "Now it's your turn," she said, gesturing towards the swing.

"Me? I don't think so," he said, holding his hands up and stepping away.

She briefly looked disappointed but her voice teased him. "Why not? I got on there. I thought you would be brave enough to get on a child's ride.  After all, you were the one who rescued me back there."

Chad sighed then went to the swing. "Fine," he mumbled, plopping down onto the swing.

Before he could put the swing in motion, Jane approached him and grabbed the ropes. "Now, hold still for a moment." She managed to straddle him, wiggling slightly as she made herself comfortable. "I remember doing this as a child with my mother," she said.  "Somehow it holds different meaning tonight," she said, her mouth just inches from him.

Chad tried to wrap one arm around her waist and hold onto the rope with the other hand but quickly changed his mind.  He needed two hands on the rope to maintain his balance.  Hoping Jane had a good grip he pushed the swing backward to set it in motion.  He began to pump his legs giving the swing momentum enough to move higher and higher. Jane moved both her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist, laughing each time the swing rose up causing her to fall into him even more and grasping him tightly on the return when her back was toward the ground.

Chad moved his head back, trying to get a good look at this woman who was quickly moving into his heart. Never before had someone had such an impact on him in such a short time. Something about Jane made him want to hold her and never let go.  He still couldn’t see much, not enough to clearly make out her features. The night was dark and only a few stars peeked through the clouds that had obliterated the moon.

Chad was drawn to Jane; everything in him told him that this woman was special. He thought of his father talking to him as a young child about women.  "For true beauty, you must look at a woman on the inside, not the outside, Chakotay.  A woman's features may attract you like a moth to a flame, but without internal beauty she is as deadly to you as the flame to the moth."

It made so much sense now. He didn't need to know what Jane looked like; he could tell her spirit matched his own.  She was someone to challenge him, love him, and be there for him.  Why did he have to meet this woman under circumstances that meant after this night he would probably never see her again?

The motion of the swing caused them to move against each other.  At first he didn't notice it but once he settled into the routine of keeping the swing in motion he became aware of the rhythmic motion of Jane's body against his.  If only for tonight, right now, he had to let her know what she meant to him in such a short time. He bent down, bringing his lips to hers and was thrilled to feel her returning the gesture, her lips meeting his in a soaring kiss.

Chad brought his legs down to stop the swing.  He wrapped both arms around her waist and held her to him, his hands slipping up the flimsy material of her dress to settle on the satiny material of her panties. His tongue pushed between her lips to find hers, caressing it as he tasted her.  Jane groaned and that only encouraged Chad. He helped her to her feet so he could quickly pull off her panties, and then pulled her close again, encouraging her to climb back on him.

Jane resisted; she pulled away and grabbed his hands, pulling him to his feet.  She reached for his pants to release his erection. She dropped to her knees, taking his penis in hand and caressing it before attempting to take it into her mouth.

"I don't need that," he said softly, pulling her to her feet. He sat back down. "I just need you to keep me warm."

Jane smiled before straddling him once again, slowly lowering herself onto him, impaling herself with a groan. A part of her knew she shouldn't be doing this, not with a man she had known for barely an hour. Yet here she was, joined with him in the most intimate of ways.  She held him close, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he slowly put the swing into motion, pumping his legs, creating the perfect friction between the two whenever the swing dipped. She delighted in the sensation as much as he but slowly her frustration built.  There wasn't much she could do except hold him; her position didn't allow her any freedom to move or to act on the feelings building inside her.

As if he could sense her frustration he stopped the swing. "Hold on," he whispered before carefully standing, clutching her to him and walking towards one of the plastic animals the local children loved to climb on. It was the perfect height, allowing him to lie her down on her back while he could still stand, leaning only slightly to remain inside her.

Chad braced his arms on either side of her, kissing her passionately before beginning to move in her, pumping slowly at first then increasing his speed. One hand snaked in between them, finding her hardened nub and flicking it, eliciting a moan from Jane.

Jane was close, he was sure of it.   He could already feel the beginning of her orgasm as her walls clenched his sensitive member. He tried to keep his control, groaning as he felt his own orgasm well in him, his balls clenching up, and his head swimming. He couldn't control his body and with a groan he came; his movements were jerky as he emptied his seed deep within her.  Jane came right after him, clawing at his back as her orgasm tore through her. He dropped his head into the crook of her neck, still breathing heavily as he tried to regain his senses. "You are incredible," he mumbled into her ear.

He could feel her smile against his shoulder, "So are you."

Chad rose up on his elbows slowly then pulled out of her, groaning as he lost contact. Once he got to his feet he helped her stand and pulled her in close for another kiss. She let her lips make the brief contact then stepped away, her hand dipping under her dress to catch the fluids still dripping from her. She stuck one dripping finger into her mouth. "We taste good together," she said in a sultry voice before sticking the finger in his face, offering him to taste them too.

Taste them he did, although not as she had offered.  Instead he sat her on the playground animal, dropped to his knees, hiked up her dress and dove into her hot sex, still tingling from their earlier activity.  He was relentless as he lapped at her, nipping at her sensitive clit bringing her to another orgasm.

Once she recovered she laughed, "And I thought it was dangerous back there in the bar.  What are you trying to do? Kill me?"

"Oh, no," said Chad, "just enjoying you very much."

He stood up, kissing her, letting her taste herself on his lips. It was a few moments before either of them actually felt the raindrops. He looked for her panties and waited while she quickly slipped them on.

They both wanted to say something but words failed them. Chad was the first to speak, "I hope your friend isn't too worried about you."

Jane gasped, "I forgot all about her. She's going to be frantic."

He reached out and took her hand. "Than let me escort you back to your hotel. It's not much farther along the beach."

"Thanks," she said, taking his hand, leaning into him, wanting to keep him close as long as she possibly could.
 

Chakotay's voice again reached Kathryn's ears.  "We walked through the gentle rain along the beach towards her hotel.  We barely noticed the rain until we were almost here and it started falling more heavily.  We were both drenched when we entered the hotel lobby.  I waited while she got her key from the clerk at the desk then made sure she was safely on the elevator.  I was going to leave, but I couldn't just walk away from her without making sure she knew how I felt about her. I asked the clerk for some stationery and a pen and wrote her a note. I couldn't even tell him her name but he promised to make sure she received my letter.

"I went back to my hotel and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning before I finally had to collect my things to catch the transport back to my assignment."

Kathryn's voice jarred Chakotay back to the present.  "Aren't you going to tell me about the beach?"

"I could give you facts but they would only make it seem cheap and shallow and that's not how it was or how I remember her and our few hours together. Are you sure you really want a graphic description?"

"No, I guess not."

"Ok, I told you my story.  Now it's your turn."  Chakotay wasn't really expecting Kathryn to tell him her story so was prepared for her protest.  Instead she was silent.

"I don't think I need to tell you."  Chakotay's curiosity grew as Kathryn stood and went into her bedroom to return a few minutes later. She sat down and looked at what she was carrying before handing it to him. Chakotay took the paper and unfolded it. Once he saw the faded handwriting he didn't have to read it. He remembered the words as easily as if he had written them that afternoon instead of after a walk along a beach on a rainy Tak'liod night.

They sat for what could have been hours but was in fact only minutes. Neither knew what to say or do but both knew what they had just learned was going to affect their relationship. Chakotay finally looked up from the paper to meet Kathryn's eyes.

"You're the one woman I though might replace Jane in my memories; now I find that you are Jane."  He hesitated before continuing.  "That night was so special and I had gotten comfortable over the years with Jane being a mystery woman. Suddenly I learn that Jane has become my best friend and I've known her for years but didn't even recognize her."

"I know. It's the same for me. Chad was just as special to me. He made me feel safe and cherished even though we both knew it was a one-night stand." Kathryn knew that finding out about their shared past would change their shared future and that what she said next would shape that future. "Chad was my friend before he was my lover but it moved too quickly and he was gone almost before I knew him. Now that I've found him again and have already become his friend, I think I'd like to continue the pattern but I want to take it more slowly so he doesn't leave me again."

"Kathryn, we both might be expecting too much. Those memories are years old. I know I'm not as young as I was and we were both more than a little drunk."

"Not so drunk that we don't remember what happened and how we felt. Well, I remember how I felt. It's all right. I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to do."

"No, it's not that I don't want to try because I do, more than anything."

Kathryn cut off anything else he might have said by leaning over and kissing him. Chakotay needed no encouragement. The kiss dragged out as they both sought to merge the person from their memories with the person in their present. Suddenly Chakotay dragged his head back and moved Kathryn away from his body.

"I think I'd better leave now or tomorrow we'll be comparing tonight to that night on the beach."

"I know. I really need time to reconcile all I've learned tonight. I don't want to rush things. I want us to get it right; I need us to get this right."

"I know. I do, too." Chakotay pulled Kathryn closer for another kiss, then stood and headed for the door. "Pick you up at 07:30 for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Don't be late."

As the door closed behind him, both had the same thought.

"Oh, what a night that had been!"

Chakotay was surprised that Kathryn called for him to come in the next morning.  He was more surprised to see her table set for breakfast.

"Sit down.  It's almost ready."

"I thought we were eating in the mess hall."

"I know but I think we could use the extra time to talk some more. Tuvok isn't expecting us on the bridge until after lunch." Chakotay's face must have spoken at least a thousand words because Kathryn hastened to expand as she placed their breakfast on the table and sat down next to him. "I told him we had business to discuss.  Besides, what's the point of being the captain if I never take advantage of it?"

The routine of passing food and starting their meal briefly interrupted the conversation but Chakotay wasted no time returning to the topic once they were eating.

"It's not like you to take time off for personal business, especially at the last minute."

"This might be personal to us, but it's going to affect Voyager and the crew and that makes it ship's business."

"You were always willing to put this topic off before, why the change?"

"Before, a personal relationship was something that might happen in the future. Now we both know it exists in our past and, like it or not, that means it exists in our present."

Chakotay was silent. How could he tell Kathryn his feelings without hurting her? Kathryn seemed to understand that he had to sort out a few things and allowed him to make small talk until they had finished eating. They both carried their dishes to the recycler and took their coffee and tea to the couch. Once seated, Chakotay knew he had to try to explain his feelings.

"Kathryn, I don't see it quite the way you do.  That night was the most memorable I've ever spent with a woman. If I had been able to keep seeing 'Jane' I'm certain I would have fallen in love with her. But that woman and the young man I was don't exist any more. She has grown and changed and met other men. I've been in the Maquis and met other women. I've treasured those memories of 'Jane' and our time together but I don't want to go back. I've met another woman and I love her more than I could have loved 'Jane.' I've met you, Kathryn, and any future we share is one based on what we've shared on Voyager not what we experienced more than a decade ago. The only thing that has changed for me is that I've learned that making love with you will be even better than I've imagined it and that you're as passionate and demanding as I thought you might be."

"You're right, we don't see things the same way. Do you know that I walked that beach for hours every night until I left Tak'liod? Do you know that last night I realized that 'Chad' was one of the reasons I've kept you at arm's length? I fell in love that night. Oh, I didn't place that label on my feelings; it was too impetuous and impulsive for me but that's what I felt. I've never regretted that night or wished I could change what happened. The only thing I regretted was not getting the chance to know 'Chad' better even though I knew it was not our time. I'll never get to know 'Chad', only the man he's become, and I'll cherish every moment with him because I know that now is our time."

Kathryn stood up from the couch and began slowly walking around her room, touching the various furniture and objects in front of her. Chakotay watched her for a moment, curious as to what she was doing but Kathryn said nothing. He couldn't stand it any longer, "Kathryn?"

"Hmm?" she replied, still making her way around the room.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

She turned to face him and smiled, "I'm fine Chakotay, just wondering."

He got up to approach her. "About what?"

"Oh, how easy it would be to turn this room into a playground," she said, trying to keep a straight face as the understanding crossed his features.

Chakotay was stunned for a moment but he quickly recovered. He reached behind her to jiggle the desk.  "Seems sturdy enough," he mumbled before placing his hands on her waist and hoisting her up.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tightly in place. "Now, just what would this be like?" she asked playfully.

He dipped his head to hers, his mouth hovering just inches from hers. "Our dear friend... the turtle."

Kathryn moaned, desperate to reach his mouth. "That was a turtle?" she said, licking her lips, grazing his in the act.  He nodded his answer before capturing her mouth, their lips melding before his tongue snaked out to find hers, caressing it, and bringing a shiver up Kathryn's spine. He broke away as quickly as he had started the kiss, enjoying the shocked look on her face.

Chakotay's hands quickly moved to her pants, undoing the fasteners while keeping his eyes locked with hers. Once he had them off he moved down, positioning himself between her legs, moved closer and just breathed. He let out a puff of air, but still made no move toward her, teasing her.

"Chakotay, please," pleaded Kathryn, but she got little response, only one of his fingers came out to lightly trace her lips. "Quit teasing," she said, as if she were barking an order.

He smiled, leaned forward and placed a kiss on her aching clit, but nothing else, "I'm a patient man, Kathryn.  I've waited years to be with you.  A few more minutes won't make much difference."

She whimpered, "I'm not a patient woman, Chakotay.  Do it now!" she demanded.

He chuckled this time. "Giving orders? As if I would work any faster?" he said with a laugh before placing another kiss on her clit.

Kathryn was breathing hard. The sensations he was creating were sending shivers up her spine. She was so aroused by now that she knew the moment he touched her once again she would probably go off. She tried to keep herself braced but it was a losing battle.  She was expending too much energy, energy that could be better spent elsewhere. She allowed herself to lean back until she was lying on the desk.

Chakotay made one more move, this time attacking her clit with his mouth, sucking and biting. He was surprised when she instantly cried out and her orgasm washed over her in strong waves that had her bucking against his mouth.  He moved down slightly, dipping his tongue into her throbbing center, lapping the juices that freely flowed from her. Once she was cleaned up, he stood, freed his aching erection and placed it at her entrance, and then plunged fully into her in one move.

Chakotay grasped her legs, placing them on his shoulders, holding them tightly as he began plunging into her at a furious pace. He placed a finger on her throbbing clit rubbed as furiously as he was thrusting, bringing her to another explosive climax, her walls gripping his member tightly. He tried to hold back, wanting to continue, but the feelings overwhelmed him and he came with a growl, his seed surging into her, one stream after the next that left him spent. He collapsed onto her, drawing her into his arms, holding her tight.

After what seemed like hours, Chakotay slowly rose and looked her in the eye. "I think that was better than I remember."

Kathryn smiled and reached up to touch his face. "It was."  She stood up and took his hand.  "Come on.  I don't have a swing, but I think my bed might be as good as a trampoline. That is, unless you're tired of my playground."

Chakotay grinned as he allowed her to pull him across the room.  "No way, Kathryn.  I will never tire of your playground and I promise you'll be my favorite playmate for the rest of my life."