Part 22
Best of Both Worlds
"We'll get back to you in a few hours. Chakotay out."
Chakotay cut off his comm link with Voyager and moved to the stasis chamber standing next to the one he had climbed out of ten minutes earlier and set the controls to revive Kathryn. He stood immobile until the lid lifted and Kathryn tried to sit up.
"Take it easy, Kathryn. Give your body a chance to adjust."
Kathryn sat up and looked around at the lush green field and knew the worst had happened. She allowed Chakotay to help her out of the stasis chamber and over to a nearby tree where they sat down before she spoke.
"It's bad, isn't it?"
"I'm sorry." Chakotay put his arms around her to share their grief. "It is bad. The only good news is that as long as we stay on this planet, the virus is harmless."
"How long were we in stasis?"
"Just over three weeks."
"Three weeks? Who's taking care of the girls?" Kathryn instinctively started to activate her communicator but Chakotay stopped her hand.
"Relax. T'Pel and B'Elanna have been watching them. T'Pel is spending the nights in our quarters and B'Elanna is keeping them during the evenings. Their days are the same as if we were on the ship. They're fine but they miss us. They know we're sick and that the doctor is taking care of us. If you contact them right now, you'll probably scare them. We have to decide what we're going to tell them and we can't do that until we decide what we're going to do."
"What do you mean? I thought you said we couldn't leave."
"We can't -- but Taylor and Kay can." The implications of his statement brought tears to Kathryn's eyes. She collapsed in grief on his shoulder and let the tears flow down her cheeks as his dropped slowly on her hair. Eventually, their tears dried and they were able to talk again.
"What are we going to do about the girls? What do you want us to do?" Chakotay's words were soft. He knew what they had to do and he hoped Kathryn would be able to accept that as well.
"You want me to send our children away and never see them again, don't you? You want me to send away our babies so they grow up thinking we don't love them."
"That's not true, Kathryn. They will grow up knowing we loved them. Everyone on the ship will tell them that. We're not sending them away from us; we're sending them to a life far better than they would have here. On Voyager, they would have friends and playmates and a whole ship filled with people who love them. Yes, they would miss us for a time, but in a few months they will remember us and start laughing again."
"Kay won't remember us for very long. She's only a year and a half old. Even Taylor will forget us eventually."
"They won't forget us. They can't because Tom and B'Elanna and Tuvok and Harry and all the others won't let them."
"You sound like you don't care if we send them away."
"I care, Kathryn. The only thing I can imagine that would be harder would be if I had to send you with them." He kissed her on the forehead. "If this virus had killed us, it would be easier, don't you think? The girls could mourn and move on, and we wouldn't be faced with this decision."
"I almost wish it had but that would mean I had lost you, too. What are we going to do?"
"Right now I think we should pick up a few of those supplies and find a spot to set up our tent. We both need time to think and doing something will help. Voyager isn't going anywhere for a few days."
Like automatons, they walked over to the small bundles of supplies. Chakotay quickly helped Kathryn on with the smaller pack before shouldering the larger. He took her hand and they walked toward one end of the clearing to locate a suitable campsite. They worked silently for the most part but less efficiently than usual. Kathryn broke the silence after an hour or so.
"I could order them all to the surface, couldn't I?"
"You could, and they would all come. But you won't, will you?"
"I want to, Chakotay. I really want to do that." Kathryn's voice was an echo of her emotions. The conflict between what she wanted to do and what she knew she would have to do was apparent. "But you're right, I won't."
Chakotay pulled her into his arms as her tears started again. This time was different; this time he knew she was starting to let go of the past and accept the present situation. He didn't say anything; he just held her. When she was ready, he relaxed his hold and she returned to her task. Chakotay thanked the spirits that he was able to control his feelings enough to allow her to deal with what she would have to do in the next few days.
Chakotay left the immediate area near sundown and contacted Voyager. He advised Tuvok that they would select a site in the morning for their permanent camp and would speak to Taylor and Kay as soon as Kathryn had made her decisions.
Three days later, Kathryn and Chakotay had their permanent shelter constructed and their supplies organized. Despite her protests, Tuvok had insisted on leaving a shuttle for them to use to explore the planet and gather fruits and vegetables growing wild in other areas. Tom had landed it and beamed directly back to Voyager without opening the airlocks or doors. Its data banks would prove useful, as would its solar collectors and replicator.
It had taken only a few hours the second day for Kathryn to come to terms with ordering her ship on toward the Beta Quadrant end of the Bajoran wormhole. It had been another day and a half before she could accept sending their two daughters with Voyager. By unspoken agreement, they delayed telling the girls what would be happening until the third day. But now there were no more excuses for putting off the conversation. Chakotay and Kathryn were at the communications terminal in the shuttle. Kathryn had finished issuing all the orders transferring command to Tuvok.
After hours of discussion, Kathryn and Chakotay had decided to designate T'Pel as the legal guardian for Taylor and Kay. They trusted her to choose what was best for the two girls and knew that if that meant living with other crew members, then that is where T'Pel would have them live. They knew that both Tuvok and T'Pel would need their calm control to deal with the strong-willed Taylor, who at three was already a handful. They would be equally good at drawing the stubborn yet quiet Kay into conversations and activities with other children.
It was late afternoon for them and a few hours earlier for Taylor and Kay when Kathryn and Chakotay sat down together to tell their children good-bye. The girls were in their quarters with T'Pel, Sam and B'Elanna, eagerly awaiting the chance to talk to their parents for the first time in nearly a month, unaware that it would be the last time. Kathryn and Chakotay knew and they delayed a few moments before nodding for Tuvok to transfer their link to the girls.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Taylor and Kay were both shouting from their excitement and failed to notice the solemn expressions on their parents' faces.
"I miss you!
"Wen momma home?"
"I drew you a lot of pictures while you were sick. Wanna see them?"
"Look pik!"
"Daddy, RT says I'm not allowed to have a tattoo 'cause I'm a girl. Will you tell him he's wrong?"
"Da hug!"
"B'Elanna made us banana pancakes this morning for breakfast and Jason put syrup in his hair."
Like all young children, once they knew their parents were safe, they quickly turned their attention to the mundane issues so important in their daily lives. Their resilience assured both Kathryn and Chakotay that they had managed to get through the previous month fairly well despite the prolonged separation. They waited until the barrage of questions slowed before trying to talk to the girls.
"Girls, please, we need to talk to you about something very important." Chakotay's calm voice immediately attracted the girls' undivided attention. Usually their mother spoke first.
"Ok, Daddy. What do you want?" Taylor quickly assumed the leadership role for the two.
"Taylor, Kay, you know how much we love you, right?" Kathryn's voice was soft. The girls quickly nodded. "What I have to tell you is going to make you sad because it makes your daddy and me sad, too.
"You know we got sick when we came down to this planet and that the doctor has been trying to make us well again. Well, he succeeded. We are all better again."
"Why is that supposed to make us sad, Mommy?" Taylor's soft voice echoed her confusion.
"That's not the sad part, honey. The sad part is that if we leave this planet, we will get very sick again and the doctor wouldn't be able to make us better. So your daddy and I have to stay here."
"Should we go pack our toys, Mommy?"
"No, Taylor. You and Kay are going to stay on Voyager and go with Tuvok and T'Pel and all the others."
Taylor turned to her father desperately seeking a different answer. "Daddy?"
"I'm sorry, baby. Your mom and I are even sadder about this than you are. We can't go with you and you can't stay with us or you'd get sick, too."
"No, Daddy, no! I don't want to leave you! Mommy, don't make us go!" Taylor had tears streaming down her cheeks. Kay looked scared and confused because she hadn't quite understood what her mother had meant, but she definitely understood Taylor's distress.
"Shhh." Kathryn's voice trembled as the tears ran down her cheeks. She clutched Chakotay's hand tightly as she spoke. "Taylor, Kay, I want you to do something for me, OK? Every night before you go to bed, I want you to look out the window and say good night to us. We'll be looking towards you and listening to hear you. Do you think you can do that?"
Taylor and Kay nodded through their tears and calmed slightly as they thought about the request.
"What if we need to tell you something really important?" Taylor's question caught them all unprepared. Chakotay was the first to think of an answer.
"If you need to tell us something, ask Tuvok to record the message and send it to us. You will be too far away for us to answer, but he can send it to us and we'll get it for a long time after you leave. If you have questions, he will help you find the right answers, too."
"Are we still the Captain's brats, Mommy?" Taylor's question nearly cost Kathryn what little control she still had.
"You'll always be the Captain's brats, honey. We love you."
"I love you both. Don't forget to tell us goodnight when you go to bed." Chakotay's control was nearly gone as well.
Both Taylor and Kay sat with the tears streaming as their voices repeated their farewells. When they realized the link was about to be terminated, they became extremely distraught, ignoring the efforts of B'Elanna and Sam to calm them.
"Mommy?"
"Love you, Momma."
"I don't want to leave you, Mommy! Daddy, don't make us go."
"Momma, stay!"
"Don't make us go, please!"
"Wanna stay!"
"Don't leave me, Mommy!"
"Da, stay!"
"We love you both." Kathryn and Chakotay's words echoed as the connection was broken from the bridge.
A few minutes later Chakotay's comm badge chirped and Tuvok officially advised them that Voyager would be leaving orbit within the hour.
"Acknowledged."
The stars were bright in the sky when Kathryn and Chakotay finally made their way back to the shelter that was now their home. Small as it was, it seemed big and empty without the voices of two little girls.
Tuvok sat in the ready room after the link between Kathryn and Chakotay had been terminated contemplating his orders. He made a log entry concerning the transfer of command and overall status of the ship. He then went to the bridge long enough to order Voyager back on course for the Beta Quadrant before turning his attention to his new duties on Voyager.
Tuvok's first priority was selecting a first officer and a chief of security. Kathryn had made recommendations for both positions. He had also discussed the matter with Chakotay wanting his insight at the effect the changes would have on the crew. Because of the circumstances, promotions on Voyager would be few and far between. Chakotay reminded Tuvok that new responsibilities did not have to go hand in hand with a promotion. If people performed new assignments well, Tuvok could always promote them later.
Tuvok briefly reviewed Tom Paris's file. Because Tom had briefly served as first officer, he had been both Kathryn and Chakotay's recommendation for first officer. Tuvok saw nothing in his file and had no first hand experiences with Tom that made him an unfavorable choice. Tuvok had turned to the files of the individuals under consideration for chief of security when his chime sounded.
"Enter."
T'Pel stepped through the door. Tuvok rose to his feet with one eyebrow raised. He was curious; T'Pel seldom sought him out while he was on duty.
"T'Pel. It is not your custom to seek my counsel when I am on duty."
"My apologies. I am aware of your orders from Captain Janeway. I am here to inquire about your intentions regarding those orders."
"I fail to understand how my orders affect your duties on Voyager."
"They do affect my duties, but not as a member of the crew. They affect my responsibilities as an individual. I have been charged with the care of Taylor and Kay. Your orders affect that care."
"Explain."
"The orders Captain Janeway gave you were those she believed to be in the best interest of the ship and crew. Their decision to send their daughters with the ship was in the best interest of their daughters. However, Captain Janeway's orders may not be in the best interest of her daughters or the ship and crew."
Tuvok began to understand. "Elaborate."
"Being with their parents on Voyager is what is best for Taylor and Kay. Consider too that it is in the best interest of the ship and crew to return Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay to their positions on board. It is not logical to accept that there is no cure simply because our EMH has been unable to devise one. The cure may be of a nature unknown to our sciences. An effort to seek a cure from neighboring systems is therefore logical."
"When I accepted my commission I swore an oath to follow the orders I was given. As her friend and fellow officer, I promised Captain Janeway that I would do my best to ensure the safety of the ship and crew and return them all to the Alpha Quadrant. Now you would have me break that oath and my promise?"
"I would not. I would have you consider that you would best carry out those orders and promise by finding a cure and returning Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay to the ship."
"I will consider it." Tuvok had not had time to thoroughly consider his orders and their implications. T'Pel had clearly found more time to consider them than he had. She had found a greater priority than had been contained in his orders that was consistent with their intent, thus providing the logical reason for not following his orders as intended. He was once again appreciative of his father's choice of wife for him. "Since you have come here, I ask for your thoughts on a matter affecting the ship."
"I am not an expert on the command of a Starship. How can I provide appropriate counsel?"
"I require your perspective about the advisability of appointing Lt. Ayala as Chief of Security."
"He is competent in his duties and capable of carrying out the responsibilities of that position?"
"He is."
"Then I do not understand why you require my opinion on the matter."
"Captain Janeway recommended him and two others for the position. He is the one that Commander Chakotay suggested would be most suitable but he gave no specific reasons. The abilities and official records of all three are comparable. There is no logical reason for choosing Ayala above the other two."
"It is my experience with Commander Chakotay that he does not rely on logic when making decisions of that nature. He has great insight into the character of a person and into crew interaction. He would call it instinct; I would call it knowledge that he cannot explain. Unless Lieutenant Commander Paris objects, I would accept Commander Chakotay's recommendation."
"Commander Paris? Why do you mention him?"
"He is the one you will designate as your first officer, is he not?"
"He is. I do not understand how you know that when I have not yet told Commander Paris or made any record of my decision."
"Even the children on Voyager know he is the logical choice. First, he is the highest-ranking officer under your command. Second, he served as first officer before Commander Chakotay came on board. He is well liked and respected by the crew and competent in his duties. Any other choice is quite illogical. Now, I have made my request and commented upon your selection of first officer and chief of security. I believe I have distracted you from your duties long enough."
"On the contrary, T'Pel, you have assisted me in carrying them out." Tuvok stood as T'Pel rose to leave and held out two fingers to T'Pel; she placed her fingers against his for several seconds before departing.
T'Pel returned to Captain Janeway's quarters where B'Elanna Torres and Sam Wildman were staying with Taylor and Kathryn. Both girls had cried themselves to sleep after their conversation saying goodbye to their parents. After T'Pel left, B'Elanna had carried them to their beds. As T'Pel entered, B'Elanna was just coming out of the main bedroom where, from long habit, she had placed Jason for his nap.
"Well, he should sleep now for an hour or two – I hope."
"Where are Taylor and Kay?"
"I put them in their own beds. They'll sleep better there."
T'Pel walked over to the replicator and requested herbal tea. She turned to Sam and B'Elanna to see if they wanted anything to drink; both held up recently filled cups so she sat down at the table.
"I would like to discuss how I should proceed with Taylor and Kay with you both. Please join me."
B'Elanna was already on her feet so she reached the table first. As she was taking her place next to T'Pel, she yielded to her curiosity.
"If you don't mind, I would like to ask you a question, T'Pel. Why did you accept the responsibility for the care of two young children? I think it's wonderful that you did, but it surprised me especially since you have already raised your own children."
"Your question is valid. Had it been in other circumstances, I would not have done so. Taking on such a responsibility is not one I accepted without thought. I am Vulcan and the children are Terran. On Vulcan, it would have been extremely difficult to raise them as the captain and commander would have desired. However, on Voyager I will have available to me other parents with children of similar ages.
"There was also another factor, which is why I wanted to speak with you both. I believe it would have been in the children's best interests if they were part of an established family. Both of you could have provided such care and I suspect if asked you would have accepted the responsibility. Taking two additional children into your homes would have adversely affected your children. It is my belief that your children should not have to 'share' their parents or their homes, and that Taylor and Kay will be happier if they have their own home as well. Tuvok and I can provide that home and be the parents in Taylor and Kay's lives thus providing the security children need. Having accepted the responsibility, I now must seek your assistance."
"What do you mean?" Sam's voice was slightly confused.
"Security is not the only thing that they will need to thrive. There are things that they will need that Tuvok and I are ill prepared to provide. Your children are their peers and friends. You and your husbands are more familiar with Terran customs and behavior. There will be days when they will be more comfortable with you than with me. Vulcan ways are different and it will take time for Taylor and Kay to learn them. It will also take time for me to learn the ways of young Terran children. They are going to be dealing with their grief for some time and I anticipate their behavior will be unpredictable and extremely emotional."
"You're right, T'Pel. If the captain and commander had asked us, Tom and I would have taken both Taylor and Kay without a second thought. I'm sure Sam and Joe would have done the same." Sam nodded her agreement as B'Elanna spoke. "You just tell us what you need and we'll do anything we can to help."
"My first request is for advice about the children's housing. Our quarters are adequate for Tuvok and me, but we do not have room for two children. I am reluctant to move into these quarters at this time. This is where their parents lived and I do not believe the girls would accept someone replacing them here easily. Do you have any suggestions?"
"You're correct about moving in right away." Sam spoke first. "Kay and Taylor consider this to be their parents' private space and would think you didn't care that the captain and commander are gone. Moving them into other quarters would be upsetting as well, but in the long run is probably the best solution. You can probably put off the decision for at least a week."
"The other possibility is allowing this to be 'their' quarters but also giving them space in your quarters. It wouldn't have to be large, just enough to establish a home for them with you. There is a storage locker next to your quarters that I can have converted fairly easily. You could stay here with them for a few nights then invite them to spend the night with you. Gradually, you could establish their home with you without abandoning their old one. They could invite friends here to play here or they could study here."
"I like that idea, B'Elanna." Sam was quick to support B'Elanna's alternative. "It would make it much easier for them to make the transition and the delay is easily explained by the construction that would be necessary. It would give them time to adjust to the idea of having two homes before they had to try out the new one."
"There is one problem though. Is Tuvok going to want to move someone else into these quarters? They are among the largest on the ship."
"I think I can prevail upon him to retain these quarters for Taylor and Kay." T'Pel spoke with a calm certainty. "He too is interested in doing what is best for the children. The only person who might want these quarters is the new first officer and I don't think that will be a problem."
"It better not be! Tom and I are the only ones with three kids and we're doing just fine where we are. Whoever it is can just stay put!"
Sam started laughing and T'Pel raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"B'Elanna, think about it. Who is the most likely person to be named first officer?" Sam was still chuckling.
B'Elanna stopped to think, running through the list of officers and their backgrounds and ranks. Slowly she started smiling. "You're right. I don't think the next first office will be any problem at all. If he is, he will be sleeping in his office." She turned to T'Pel. "Is it official yet?"
"No, but I believe it will be in the next few hours."
"I believe B'Elanna's suggestion is the most logical one at this time. It allows the children to retain their home while settling into a new one. So long as the space is not required for others on the ship, I see no reason why we cannot use this space for them. All that is required is the permission of the captain to make the renovations. I believe that would be most easily accomplished if there were a complete proposal ready for his approval." T'Pel turned to B'Elanna. "How soon can you prepare such a proposal?"
B'Elanna slipped into tactical mode easily. "Sam, do you mind sending Joe up here so he and I can get this written up tonight?"
"Not at all. He loves the kids but he and bath time do not do well together. I'll come back after they are asleep. I can get Susan to sit with them."
"Sue baby-sits for you?"
"Only after the girls are asleep. She still avoids them when they are awake. Now, do you need Joe to bring anything with him?"
"Just the engineering roster for the next week and maybe the maintenance roster as well. We can use a few of those people for a lot of the work. We can access the structural details from the database."
B'Elanna and T'Pel continued making plans while they awaited Joe's arrival. Once he arrived, T'Pel excused herself.
"I will be in my quarters if you require any additional information. With your permission, I will use your work here as a reason for the girls to eat dinner with me. They have eaten with us before and if they know they are returning here to sleep, they should not be unduly disturbed."
"I don't have to pick up RT and Annabel from daycare until 19:00 hours. I was going to ask to go back on duty full time before all this happened. I think I'll wait a couple more weeks until you have a routine established with the girls."
"Thank you, B'Elanna. I will return in two hours."
Tom was sitting at the helm, monitoring their progress and sensor readings relevant to navigation when he was startled by an order from Tuvok.
"Commander Paris, please report to my ready room."
"On my way, sir." Tom quickly locked the board and stood. Once relieved, he made his way quickly to the ready room and signaled for admission.
"Enter." Tuvok was seated at his desk. He motioned for Tom to join him. "Please sit down, Commander. I wish to speak with you."
"Aye, sir."
"As you are aware, I have assumed command of Voyager and am in need of a first officer and new chief of security. Captain Janeway made recommendations to me for both positions, as did Commander Chakotay. I concur with their recommendation regarding your appointment as first officer. Do you accept that position?"
Tom sat stunned more at the brevity of Tuvok's statement than at the actual offer. He had known he was the most likely person to be moved to second in command. He was the most senior of the officers other than Tuvok and had served briefly as first officer for Captain Janeway while they were still in the Alpha Quadrant.
"I have a choice?"
"Officially you do. However, if you decline, I will remind you that Captain Janeway wanted you to serve as first officer. I believe the phrase 'lay a guilt trip on you' describes what I would do if you continued to decline. If that failed, I would enlist the assistance of Lieutenant Torres. I am confident she would convince you to accept the assignment."
Tom held up his hand. "That's enough, Comman… Captain. Sorry, sir. I'll accept the assignment. I hope I live up to Captain Janeway's expectations and yours."
"I will advise you if you do not." Tuvok's expression hinted at humor, if that were possible. "Now, I would like your input about the new chief of security. I am considering Lieutenant Ayala for that position. What are your thoughts?"
"Hmmm. Ayala is a good man, if a bit likely to skip the fine print in the rules at times. He's definitely the best man to put at tactical on the bridge, no doubt about that. He's well liked and respected by the rest of the crew. There are a few who outrank him in security but Harry has had no problem with that in his department so I doubt Ayala would either, at least not after the first week. Do you mind telling me who else you are considering for the position?"
"I am also considering Dobson and Evans. Both are eminently qualified and all three were recommended by Captain Janeway."
"I'll bet Chakotay recommended Ayala over the other two, right?"
"Correct. How did you know that?"
"Easy. Dobson can be a jerk when he's the ranking officer in a group. I've seen him a couple of times when he didn't know I was around. He's never done anything that was actually wrong, but I don't like his attitude. I'm not sure Captain Janeway has seen that side of him but Chakotay may have. Evans is better with the crew and he knows his job but I'm not sure he'd be good as the head of the department. I agree with Chakotay on this on, Tuvok, but even if I didn't I'd tell you to take his advice. He has a knack for knowing who can do a job the best even if he can't explain why."
"Since I have no logical reason to select Dobson or Evans over Ayala, I will follow your advice and that of Commander Chakotay and appoint Ayala the Chief of Security. Please take care of the paperwork for both your appointment and his as soon as possible." Tuvok paused before continuing. "I also wish to know what you think of my orders from Captain Janeway not to seek a cure for the virus that infected her and Commander Chakotay."
Tom was completely unprepared for Tuvok's question. Those orders were from the captain to Tuvok and, as far as Tom knew, Tuvok had never questioned any order. Tom wished he knew what Tuvok really wanted to ask.
"I think the captain issued the orders that she thought were in the best interest of the crew." Tom paused to give Tuvok a chance to speak. When he was met only with silence and a considered stare, Tom continued. "I'm not sure I think it is in the best interest of the crew to just give up. I know it's not in the best interest of the captain or her family. There are two little girls on this ship who will never understand why their mother didn’t want you to try and why you didn't try anyway.
"Tuvok, in my opinion Voyager's chances of eventually making it back to Federation space were cut in half when we left the captain and commander on that planet a few hours ago. That doesn't mean I don't think you'll be a good captain. It means we left two of our best and most experienced officers behind, officers that we need."
"Are you suggesting that I disobey a direct order?"
"Not disobey exactly. Reinterpret might be a better word. To be completely blunt, we anticipate taking nearly sixty-five years to reach the Bajoran wormhole. If a few weeks or months spent looking for a cure doubles our chances of making it that far, isn't it worth it?"
"So you believe that I would best carry out my orders by seeking a cure despite the fact I was ordered not to do so?"
"Yes." Tom was a little more confident now. "Look at it this way. Captain Janeway had certain orders from her superiors when we were dragged out here. She had to reinterpret them because the circumstances changed. This isn't that different. If you knew there was a cure out there for the virus, you'd go get it, right? You don't know there isn't a cure, so it makes sense to try to find one."
Tuvok looked unconvinced so Tom tried one more approach. "It's not logical to presume that just because the doctor couldn't find a cure doesn’t mean no one else in the area has. He only had a few weeks to work on the problem. Others could have spent decades developing a cure."
"Your logic is faulty on several points and you are not nearly so eloquent, but on the whole you agree with T'Pel. Do you have a suggestion where we should begin our search?"
Tom quickly tried to recall the locations of the nearest systems with warp capable civilizations. "I believe there is a cluster of stars about three weeks from here at warp six with cultures that could have visited the planet and developed a cure for the virus."
Tuvok seemed satisfied with Tom's suggestion. "Please advise the helm of our change in course when you leave. Prepare the orders I have requested as soon as possible. Do you require assistance in adjusting the duty roster?"
"No, it should be ok for the next day or two. Grayson can cover the helm until I get a new roster set up. I'll go over it tomorrow if that's all right."
"Satisfactory. Dismissed, Commander, and congratulations."
"Aye, sir. Thank you, sir."
T'Pel returned in two hours to find B'Elanna and Joe arguing somewhat loudly over which shift should deal with the power lines being routed to the storage locker. They looked up unaware that two hours had passed so quickly.
"Is something wrong?" B'Elanna's voice was slightly worried.
"No. I have come to wake the girls to take them to eat dinner. Tell me, Lieutenant Torres, do your children have trouble sleeping in your quarters?"
B'Elanna smiled. "No, they are used to the noise and sound of voices at all hours. Speaking of which, I'd better wake Jason and get him home for dinner, too. Joe, why don't you go get your dinner and spend some time with Carrie and Josie? You can meet me back here after they're asleep."
"Ok, B'Elanna. See you in a couple of hours." Joe left quickly, taking most of the stack of padds they had been using with him. B'Elanna went into the main bedroom and carefully picked up Jason. He stirred slightly as he settled against her shoulder, then went back to sleep. She went back to the living area to find T'Pel there with Taylor and Kay. The girls were holding hands and seemed reluctant to speak.
"Hi, sleepyheads. Did you have a nice rest?" B'Elanna tried to be cheerful but the girls did not respond. Kay ignored her completely and Taylor barely nodded her head.
T'Pel urged the girls toward the door. That provoked a response from Kay.
"Don wanna go."
"It's all right, Kay. You're just going to go eat with Tuvok and T'Pel. Later you can come back here to sleep. You've done that before."
"Promise?" Small eyes looked to B'Elanna then T'Pel for confirmation.
"I promise."
"As do I."
Both girls slowly turned to leave with T'Pel when Taylor turned to B'Elanna. "Will you come back later and say good night to mommy and daddy with us?"
"Of course I will, honey. Jason and I have to go home to RT and Annabel now but I'll be back in a few hours. Is that ok?"
Taylor nodded and turned to follow T'Pel out the door. B'Elanna followed and headed for her own quarters and family, knowing she would never again take for granted the time she spent with her own children.
A few hours later Taylor and Kay returned to their quarters with T'Pel. They played quietly for an hour after changing their clothes. B'Elanna and Joe returned after their children had gone to bed. T'Pel had allowed Taylor and Kay to remain up later than usual waiting for B'Elanna.
"Girls, it's time to sleep now."
Kay looked up but Taylor seemed reluctant to acknowledge T'Pel. B'Elanna stood and held out her hand for Kay. Kay climbed slowly to her feet and Taylor unenthusiastically followed her. The three walked over to the view port and stared at the stars until T'Pel joined them.
"You firs, Lanna." Kay's small voice was anxious.
"All right. Kathryn, Chakotay, it's been a sad day for all of us but we're all fine. I miss you and I wish you were with us. Sleep well and know your daughters are safe." B'Elanna turned to Kay. "Ok, your turn."
"Momma, miss you. Want you here. Want Da here. Love you. Wanna hug you."
"Taylor?" T'Pel's voice gently urged her to speak.
"Good night, Daddy. I wish I were with you and Mommy tonight. Everybody has been really nice to us but it's not the same. I love you, Mommy. Good night."
Both girls were still crying as they crawled into their beds but they were too worn out emotionally to protest. T'Pel sat with them until they were both asleep before returning to the living area to find B'Elanna looking over the plans and schedule that Joe thought they should use. He had prepared a draft while he was gone. She had corrected a few minor errors that she suspected Joe had intentionally left in the plan just so she could fix them and signed off on it. She smiled as she realized that the final plan was a composite of her preferences and Joe's. He knew what she would accept given time and what she would not. Five years of working together had its advantages.
"Thank you for coming, B'Elanna. Will you come again tomorrow night?"
"If you want me to, yes. I think it might be better is someone different joined you each night though. It would let the girls know that everyone on the ship misses their parents."
"That is a logical suggestion. Have you a suggestion for keeping track of who comes each night?"
"I'll have Tom post a sign up sheet in his office. I'm sure Sam will come tomorrow night and after that there won't be any problems getting people to come. Now, if you don't mind, Tom and Jason were having a difference of opinion when I left and Tom was losing so I need to go check on them. Call me if you need me, ok?"
"I'll be fine. I'm sure the girls will sleep tonight."
"You're probably right. Tomorrow is when the dreams will start. Good night."
"Good night, Lieutenant."
Two pairs of eyes, one dark and one pale, looked toward the distant stars from a hilltop in what had become a nightly ritual. Chakotay had told one memory of his daughters and Kathryn had told one of her own. Some were happy, others were sad but they were all good memories.
It had been two weeks since they had sent their daughters and friends away and their days had settled into a routine that seemed simple and happy. But the hours before they went to sleep were hard for them both. The third night was one of the hardest – because it seemed that they were getting used to not having their children with them and guilt was added to their grief.
That was also the night Kathryn woke up and Chakotay was missing. She found him on the hilltop staring at the stars. He made no sound but his shoulders were shaking. Only when she saw him did Kathryn realize that he had been strong for her and had refused to allow his grief to affect him for so long. She sat down next to him but facing the opposite direction and wrapped her arms around him. His arms pulled her close and they sat for nearly an hour comforting each other. That was the first night they shared memories of the girls. The next night they went back to the hill to say goodnight and share more memories.
Voyager had been gone ten days before they made love. The next morning Chakotay woke to find Kathryn sobbing on his shoulder.
"Kathryn, what's wrong?"
"I love you and I feel so guilty."
"Tell me what you mean."
"For a little while last night, I forgot about the girls. How could I do that? How could I stop loving my babies?"
"Oh, Kathryn. You didn't forget them and you haven't stopped loving them." He stroked her hair. "Kathryn, we love each other. Just because we focus on ourselves once in a while doesn't mean we've forgotten Taylor and Kay or that we don't love them. I know I don't stop loving them when I hold you in my arms. Do you stop loving me when you're thinking about the girls?"
"No."
"Then I don't think you stop loving them when you think about me. OK?"
"Ok." Kathryn calmed somewhat but Chakotay had the impression there was something else on her mind. He was proven correct when she continued. "Remember when we were discussing having another baby?"
"I remember. You said you wanted to think about it."
"Well, I said that but I already knew that I didn't want another baby just yet. I just didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry."
"Kathryn, there's nothing to be sorry about. We have two beautiful daughters. I would have been happy with just the three of you. I am happy with just the three of you even if we can't be together. Is there a reason you brought this up now?"
"Yes. I went to the replicator to get my booster and found a message from the doctor. It seems that one of the side effects of this virus is that it has completely inhibited my reproductive system. Even without the boosters, I can't get pregnant again. Oh, Chakotay, I did want another baby, just not for another year or two. Now it's too late."
"It's ok, Kathryn." Chakotay comforted Kathryn as best he could while the might-have-beens played through their minds and toyed with their emotions.
Two pairs of eyes, one dark and one pale, stared at the stars seeking the comfort their constancy provided as they reminded the watchers just how large and unforgiving the universe could be. Silently, Kathryn and Chakotay stood and made their way back to their shelter.
"Good night, girls. We love you."
Ever so slowly over the weeks, Voyager's crew adjusted to a new captain, a new first officer and the absence of her two senior officers. Just as slowly two little girls adjusted to life without their parents. They gradually accepted eating and sleeping with Tuvok and T'Pel, but they insisted on spending at least part of every day in their former home. Most nights, they wanted to say good night to their parents from their old quarters because that is where their mom and dad would be looking for them.
Taylor had always been friends with Carrie and Jem while Kay had enjoyed playing with Annabel and Josie. Those friendships remained solid but Taylor and Kay seemed to develop a special bond as the weeks progressed.
Jem had never known her mother and now Taylor had lost hers, creating a bond between them that Carrie didn't share. The three were still fast friends, but on days when she was missing her parents the most, Taylor preferred to spend time with Jem.
Josie and Annabel hadn't spent a lot of time in the presence of Kathryn and Chakotay so they didn't really understand why their friends were upset but were quite happy to share their parents' time with Kay. RT was not so understanding. Although he was the same age as Carrie, Taylor and Jem, he had never established a close friendship with any of the girls. He was just old enough to realize that Taylor's father and mother were no long the commanding officers and his father was, and he was quick to point that out any time he was losing an argument or simply outnumbered. Tom heard the tail end of one such argument just before Taylor dashed out of their quarters.
"Are, too!"
"Are not!"
"Are, too!"
"Are not!"
"My Mommy said so!"
"She's not the captain anymore so you're not the captain's brats anymore! So there!"
Jem was right behind Taylor leaving a stunned Carrie watching in silence. Tom did preliminary discipline then alerted security to check on the two girls. They advised him a few minutes later that the two girls had gone to Jem's room. Tom knew Harry was on duty so he alerted T'Pel and she went to Harry's quarters to check on the girls.
Two hours later, a much-subdued RT was delivering an insincere apology to Taylor. Taylor accepted the apology with better grace than RT had delivered it but she was still extremely upset. After that fracas, all the parents kept an ear open to conversations among the children and made sure they spent time with each child on their own, hoping to avoid future explosions. They also prepared a schedule for the children. Things settled down with the girls after that but it was very complicated for the adults.
T'Pel urged Taylor and Kay to spend the night with one friend from time to time hoping to decrease their dependence on each other without interfering with their relationship as sisters. As the weeks turned into months, Sam was unable to keep both children as often as she would have liked. She was in her first trimester with their third child and was having violent morning sickness. It was severe enough for the doctor to put her on medical leave. She managed to invite Kay over at least once a week, so Harry often invited Taylor to spend the night with Jem when he was off duty in the evening. Carrie joined them for a few hours earlier in the evenings. Frequently, T'Pel would allow Kay to invite Josie and Annabel over for a few hours on those nights. One night Taylor and Kay had a sleepover for all the girls and they camped out in the living area. Sam, B'Elanna and Sue supervised the gathering giving T'Pel an evening to meditate with no interruptions.
Taylor and Kay adapted to life without their parents but they didn't forget them. Taylor would tell Kay stories about the four of them or talk about adventures on the holodeck that they had all shared. Once in a while, T'Pel would find them asleep in the same bed with tear-stained cheeks and would know they had been sharing memories again. Fortunately, those times became fewer and farther between. One evening Kay said something to Taylor about Chakotay and Kathryn and they both laughed. Tuvok raised one brow as he and T'Pel looked toward them, both finally certain that they were providing what the girls needed.
Joe walked out of the girls' room and sat next to Sam on the couch. "Josie had another dream about you getting lost on deck 15."
"I hope those dreams stop soon. She doesn't really understand what happened but she knows Kay's mommy and daddy aren't on the ship anymore. I wish I could have Kay and Taylor over more to play with Carrie and Josie. I think it would do them all some good."
"Four girls are a lot to keep track of. Taylor and Jem seem to be doing pretty well and Harry likes having them and Carrie over. Why don't you focus on Josie and Kay? You can include Annabel when Carrie is with the older girls."
"That might work better for me right now. I barely noticed I was pregnant at this point with the girls. You just had to try for a boy so I'm blaming you entirely."
"I didn't hear you protesting at the time."
"You had me distracted and I wasn't thinking clearly so it's still your fault. It's a good thing I love you."
"I know. I'm a very lucky man." Joe leaned over to kiss Sam's head. "Do you mind if we get some sleep now? I have another double shift tomorrow."
"How soon is B'Elanna back on duty?"
"A few more days. Maybe then I'll be able to help out around here more"
"Can we just sit here a few more minutes? We don't get to spend enough time together."
"Fifteen minutes." Joe wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders as she rested her head against him. Together they shared a few minutes of peaceful solitude enjoying each other's presence and content in the knowledge that their children were safely asleep in the next room.
"Have you had any luck with a cure yet?"
"Not yet, but we've been given a name of a scientist at an outpost near here. She's a bit of an eccentric but seems to have an excellent reputation. We'll be there tomorrow afternoon."
Tom and B'Elanna were enjoying a quiet minute in their quarters after the children were asleep. B'Elanna had been back on duty full time for just over two weeks and they were just establishing a new routine to fit in Tom's new duties and their new baby. Tom rambled on about the latest efforts to find a cure for the virus. B'Elanna was far quieter than she normally would have been. Tom had noticed that she had seemed to be even more volatile than normal in the last week or so.
"You going to tell me what's been bothering you?"
"Nothing's bothering me."
"Then what is it you don't want to tell me?"
B'Elanna was silent as she struggled to choose her words. Finally, the weeks of stress won and she let the tears flow.
"Oh, Tom, I miss them. I miss them so much. I go up to the bridge and it's Tuvok in Kathryn's chair. You're not at the helm anymore. You're in Chakotay's office trying to get me three more people assigned to the Gamma shift than we have. Everything is wrong. Then I went to the doctor last week for a checkup and found out…."
Her voice trailed away as she realized what she was saying. Her reluctance to continue scared Tom. He had thought her uncharacteristic tears was a result of the grief she felt at leaving Kathryn and Chakotay on the planet, but now he knew there was more to it.
"What, B'Elanna? Tell me what the doctor said."
"We've all been under a lot of stress lately which is not news to anyone. But for some reason my physiology has reacted differently, perhaps because of the extended time or maybe because Jason was born such a short time ago, but at any rate, it prevented my boosters from taking effect. The doctor said you had neglected to keep yours current since I got pregnant with Jason, so…" she sighed as Tom took a breath and closed his eyes, knowing what was coming yet not wanting to hear it. "I'm pregnant – again. Just what this ship needs right now is another baby. Jason isn't even five months old. We already have our hands full with the three we have. You're the first officer and I'm the chief engineer and this ship is trying to function without our two senior officers. And you want to know what's bothering me? I'll tell you what's bothering me! That damned virus is bothering me, that's what!"
Tom did the only thing he could; he pulled her close to comfort her until she calmed down. Then he spoke. "B'Elanna, we've all been under stress and you're no different. We all miss Kathryn and Chakotay but we're doing the best we can to find a cure so we can go back for them."
Tom stopped to think before he commented on the baby. B'Elanna was right, another baby was going to be a significant challenge for them both personally and professionally, but it was a challenge Tom knew they could meet. He just needed to find the right words.
"I'm not going to lie to you, B'Elanna. Another baby right now is not going to be easy, but you're a great mother. We'll manage. As for the ship, well maybe a baby is what we need. Another baby on Voyager is an indication that everything will work out." He shushed B'Elanna when she started to speak. "I know, Joe and Sam could make that clear, but she was pregnant before the virus infected Kathryn and Chakotay but you weren't. So what if we didn't plan this baby, I want it anyway. It might be the one good thing to come from this nightmare."
"You're sure about that? You don't want me to terminate this pregnancy?"
"I'm sure. Don't even consider it. This baby is our silver lining. Right?"
Tom put his finger under B'Elanna's chin and tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes. "Right?"
B'Elanna smiled ever so slightly. "Right."
Voyager was in orbit around a small research station with half a dozen scientists. Five of the scientists were studying spatial phenomena. The sixth was a research biologist who specialized in cross species pathology and dabbled in xenobiotics. Her name was Yaliporopy and her first conversation with Tuvok nearly resulted in Voyager leaving the outpost. Tom convinced Tuvok that she might just be lacking in conversational skills rather than actual knowledge.
Two days later, they knew that Tom's advice had been worth taking. Yaliporopy, or Ropy as she preferred to be called, was indeed an expert and quite knowledgeable in virology. Once she understood their request and had reviewed their work, she started shuffling through old files and papers that one of her teachers had passed on to her. It took most of a day but she found what she was looking for – a reference to the virus and a treatment that was effective on the inhabitants of her home world and two others.
Another week passed before Ropy asked to come on board Voyager to discuss what she had learned. Tuvok agreed. The doctor, Tuvok and Tom met with Ropy for several hours and agreed to a course of action. When she returned to the station, Tuvok asked B'Elanna and T'Pel to join them.
"I wanted to tell you what we have learned from Dr. Yaliporopy, or Dr. Ropy as she prefers. First of all, she has information on the virus including a cure that is effective for three species native to this region. It is unclear whether that cure is effective for all species because the virus affects each species slightly differently. It seems that the virus releases not only a toxin but also other chemicals in minute quantities that interfere with the body's normal chemistry but which do not trigger an immune response and which take a long period of time to break down and thus lose their effect. There are no records on why the effects of those chemicals are negated while an individual remains on the planet.
"Dr. Ropy has reviewed the medical records from Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. Unfortunately, the scans do not contain sufficient information for her to conclusively know that a cure is possible. The doctor did not know about the minute chemicals and therefore did not take sufficiently detailed readings. What information he did get is encouraging and Dr. Ropy believes that the cures for the three species can be adapted for humans. She is willing to try to develop the cure. In return, she asks for one week on the planet to study the virus and return passage to this station. I have agreed. She will work on the cure en route and complete her work once we are in orbit.
"I have decided not contact the captain or the commander until we are reasonably certain we have a cure. Dr. Ropy is currently preparing the three cures know to be effective. They will be her starting point for her work on board Voyager. Because of the uncertainty of this effort, I do not believe it is wise to share this knowledge with Taylor or Kay. That means no one can discuss her research, or our destination and course in any location where one or more of the children might overhear. From her manner, I suspect Dr. Ropy will spend all her time in the labs working on this.
"Do you have any questions?"
Tuvok looked around the table not really expecting any questions but knowing that a few of the people might appreciate some discussion. He was correct and the group discussed the plan for about fifteen minutes before returning to their normal routine.
Three weeks later Voyager was cruising at warp 8.4 well on its way to the planet that was currently home to Kathryn and Chakotay. Tuvok entered the lab that had been appropriated by Ropy a few days after her arrival. He glanced around and wondered why she had chosen this particular lab. It wasn't the largest and didn't hold the most advanced of the equipment available on Voyager. Every surface was covered with vials or padds or elaborate setups that looked like something out of one of Tom's old movies.
"Dr. Ropy?"
Ropy stuck her head from behind a counter. "Ahhhh, Captain! Have you come to see my work?"
"I have come to make inquiries about it, yes."
"Ask away!"
"I am interested in learning why you have started studying the effects of a red sun's rays on Bolian skin pigmentation instead of working on the antidote and a vaccine."
Ropy's smile faded briefly then returned full force. "I doubt that you care why I'm studying Bolian skin pigmentation and are actually interested only in the latter part of your question. The answer is quite simple. Until we reach the planet, I cannot test the antidote. If it needs to be adapted further, I will not know until then. As for the vaccine, I have it. That part was quite elementary. In fact, I'm surprised your captain and commander were even affected by the virus."
"Please elaborate."
"This particular virus survives only within an environment with a very specific pH. Slightly higher or slightly lower environments and the virus dies quickly. The pH level for all the species among your crew should act as a natural vaccine. Something unusual must have occurred for the pH level in the blood of the captain and commander to vary enough for the virus to survive long enough to produce the chemicals that have prevented them from leaving the planet. By now, the virus in their systems is undoubtedly long dead and only the effects of those chemicals on their systems need to be countered. The doctor has assured me he can give any person an injection that will maintain a safe pH level for at least several hours so he has the vaccine now. So to answer your first question, I have done all I can until we arrive at our destination and Bolian skin pigmentation is most intriguing. Perhaps I should have asked permission to expand my studies?"
"I had not anticipated such rapid progress, Doctor. If you happen to work with any others in the future, you might consider providing a summary of your work to them before you move on to other investigations. As for expanding your studies here, you have my permission so long as those involved agree and so long as you do nothing to risk the ship or crew."
"Thank you, Captain. My apologies for not keeping you informed."
"It is not a problem. Now if you will excuse me, I have other duties that require my attention."
Four weeks later Tuvok finally agreed that they were as close to a cure as they could get without actually testing it on Kathryn and Chakotay. Voyager had been in orbit around the planet for six days but had not contacted Kathryn or Chakotay. Ropy had beamed down and obtained some live virus samples and run more tests until even the doctor was convinced that the vaccine and antidote should work. Several volunteers had beamed to the surface and returned with dead viruses in their systems so they knew they vaccine worked.
Tuvok called Tom, B'Elanna, Ropy and the doctor to the briefing room for a final discussion before they told Kathryn and Chakotay they were back. T'Pel had brought Taylor and Kay to the briefing room after they had made final plans for contacting Kathryn and Chakotay. She had explained to the girls that they thought they had a cure for their parents and were going to test it soon. During the meeting, Tuvok had finally agreed to send the children down with Ropy and Tom as the initial landing party.
Harry ran a scan before they beamed down and determined that Kathryn and Chakotay had left their comm badges in the shelter and were about a kilometer east near a stream. Their movements seemed to indicate they were fishing.
Kathryn had just landed a one-kilo specimen of her favorite fish and had insisted that Chakotay deal with the swallowed hook, sharp teeth and catfish-like spines. He was laughing at her.
"You just don't like getting poked by those spines."
"I know that. That's why you're dealing with it." Kathryn was laughing, too.
"Mommy?" Taylor's voice was soft and barely carried to them. Kathryn froze and Chakotay turned to look in the direction of the voice as the fish and pole hit the water.
"Mommy." Taylor's voice was louder the second time. "Mommy!"
Kathryn turned toward the voice to see both her daughters running full speed toward her. She managed two steps before they reached her and she found herself on her knees with both girls in her arms.
"Chakotay, it's the girls. They came back."
Chakotay was already on his knees pulling first Taylor then Kay into his arms. All four had tears running down their cheeks as they tried unsuccessfully to talk. Eventually they calmed down and settled themselves on the rocks.
"I'll kill Tuvok. He disobeyed orders. He had no business bringing the girls down here." Kathryn's thinking had cleared as her initial happiness at seeing the girls mingled with the implications of their presence.
Tom stepped forward from where he and Ropy had watched the tearful reunion. "Actually, I'm the one who brought them down. Don't worry about killing me – if this doesn't turn out as planned, B'Elanna will do it for you. Captain, Commander, this is Dr. Yaliporopy. She has developed a vaccine to the virus and what we believe is a cure."
Two weeks later, Kathryn and Chakotay beamed back down to the site where their shelter had stood. The antidote had not been perfect but it had been close. It took Ropy three days to adjust it and another week to make sure it was working before Kathryn had resumed command. The last few days had been taken up allowing the crew some shore leave and removing all traces of their presence from the surface. Ropy had been busy obtaining samples of plants and rocks to take back to her research lab.
The wandered slowly around their former home then headed for the stream. As they walked, they recalled trivial events that had happened during their stay.
"As glad as I am that we're leaving, I'm going to miss this place."
"I will, too. It's the first time in years that I didn't have to worry about the ship and crew every waking moment." Kathryn's voice was both relieved and envious but something in it caught Chakotay's attention.
"Why don't you just say it, Kathryn?"
"Say what? That I love you? All right. I love you. Happy now?"
"I'm always happy when I'm with you and I love you, too, but that's not what I mean. You have something else you want to say, don't you?"
"How do you know that?"
"I just told you – I love you and I know you, and I don't mean that in the Biblical sense. Now tell me what it is."
"Did the doctor tell you he still isn't sure whether I'll ever be able to conceive another baby?"
"No, but he did tell me that we're going to be experiencing some of the effects of that virus for at least several more months. We'll just wait and hope for the best. It's all we can do."
"Remember how you wanted us to have another baby before all this happened and I told you I wanted to wait for a year or two to have another baby? Well, I've changed my mind. If I can ever get pregnant again, I want to have another baby right away, so I'm not going back on boosters – unless you want me to."
"No, Kathryn, no boosters for either of us."
"You're not agreeing to this just to keep up with Tom and B'Elanna?"
"You wouldn't be suggesting I'm too old to father a baby, would you?"
"Never! But if you decide you want to prove to me later you're not too old, I'm off duty at 18:00 and the girls are spending the night with Sam and Joe."
"You've already made arrangements for them to stay somewhere else?"
"Sure. Getting back to a normal routine is the best thing for them. Besides, as I told Sam, we got used to having lots of privacy and time to ourselves while we were on that planet and neither of us is willing to give that up."
Laughing they asked for transport back to Voyager knowing they would take with them on their journey the best the planet had given them.
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