“If that’s the way you want it, FINE!”

Tom stormed out the door and down the corridor.   B’Elanna could be so infuriating when she got stubborn.  Before he even reached his own quarters, Tom couldn’t remember what the fight had been about.  It didn’t matter.  They were always fighting about something.  He’d get frustrated and say things in anger he didn’t mean, at least not later.  She’d get angry and say things she did mean and which usually hit home.  Usually one or the other withdrew from a disagreement before it developed into a full-blown fight, most often Tom before he lost his temper.  Once in a while they were interrupted by someone needing B’Elanna in engineering or Tom on the bridge.  Rarely she would strike him.  That usually shocked them both out of the argument.  Once they both had a chance to regain control, they usually worked out the problem or at least shelved it for later.

This fight was different.  For the first time since he had moved to Deck 2, Tom spent the night in his quarters.  They weren’t as big as B’Elanna’s but they were comfortable and much better than his old quarters.  Tom thought they seemed empty and lonely.  They also lacked many amenities everyone else took for granted – like his own toothbrush and clothes, not to mention three reports that were almost finished and which were due first thing in the morning.  Two hours after he stormed out of B’Elanna’s quarters, his reports materialized in a blue shimmer on his desk.  She had cooled down enough to recognize that their fight shouldn’t impact ship’s business.  Tom finished his reports and spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling.

B’Elanna watched the door close behind Tom.  This wasn’t the way she wanted it.  She wanted him.  She wanted them to stop fighting all the time about things that didn’t really matter to either of them.  The only good thing about their fights was making up with each other when they were over.  She didn’t think this fight was going to end that way.  She had never seen Tom so angry.  He had never walked out on her before.  The most he had done was gone into another room and refused to talk for a couple of hours until they both cooled down and forgot what the fight had been about.  She walked into her bedroom and lay down trying to relax but not succeeding.  The bed was empty and lonely.  A few hours later she received a call from Engineering about a minor problem with some relays.  She used the problem as an excuse to go to Engineering where she might be able to forget their fight.  On her way across the living area she noticed the reports Tom had been working on earlier and transported them to his quarters.  No point getting the captain and commander involved in this fight.  She and Tom had enough problems as it was.

B’Elanna had finally run out of excuses to stay in Engineering.  Joe seemed to know something was bothering her and had tried to keep everyone out of her way for as long as he could.  He had finally told her to leave before she drove them all crazy.  She knew he was right.  Her department was just doing routine checks and minor repairs right now.  The big work was completed and the two or three big projects still remaining weren’t scheduled to start for another 48 hours.  Most of Engineering was off duty and taking advantage of the planet to get off the ship for a day.

B’Elanna wandered into the main mess hall.  She thought she had a better chance of avoiding Tom.  She picked up some fruit and something to drink and sat down off to one side of the room.  With nothing to do except dwell on her fight with Tom, B’Elanna unintentionally found herself picking up scraps of conversations from other tables.  One of those conversations was talking about the ship’s bulletin board, specifically the section where people could post personal items.  B’Elanna was familiar with that section of the board, but evidently it was now being used to find people with similar interests for other reasons and a lot of the notices were being posted anonymously.

B’Elanna needed to talk to someone.  She knew Kathryn and Chakotay would each be more than willing to listen, but she also knew what they would say.  This wasn’t their first fight and it probably wouldn’t be their last one.  She didn’t like dragging their friends into the middle all the time.  Kathryn would probably sympathize with her and Chakotay would tell her to get her act together and grow up.  If they were talking to Tom, they would both probably say the same things to him.  Maybe another member of the crew would be willing to listen.  She could always change her mind later.

“Having trouble with latest love interest.  Looking for a Listener.”

Tom read the notice.  Boy, could he sympathize with whoever had posted that notice!  He knew exactly where they were coming from.  Tom read the notice again.  Maybe they’d listen to him if he listened to them.  Exchanging ideas and experiences might help.

“Listener found.  Meet me by the big rock up the beach at 19:30 tonight.”

B’Elanna knew the response was to her item.  Well, she had until 19:30 to decide whether to go.  She wondered which of the women on the ship had responded.

Tom sat on a flat rock about twenty yards from the big rock mentioned in his response.  It was far more comfortable than getting sand in your clothes.  About the only people he didn’t expect were Joe and Chakotay.  Both of them seemed to have their lives peacefully under control.  He smiled.  He knew the captain pretty well and figured that Chakotay’s peace might sometimes not be so peaceful.  Kathryn could probably be quite a handful when the mood struck her.  He envied them the ability to keep their disagreements from getting out of hand.

B’Elanna had left Voyager at 18:30.  She needed some time to herself to think about Tom and their relationship.  She wondered past the big rock and headed up the beach.  The exercise and fresh air helped her clarify her thoughts.  After a half hour she decided she’d better head back or she’d be late for her meeting.  She still wasn’t sure that she wanted to go through with this conversation.  She shifted her path farther from the shore and wandered through the scrub brush and what passed for saw grass back toward Voyager.  As she approached the big rock she saw Tom sitting farther down the beach.  Great!  Just who she wanted to see tonight.  She selected a spot where she could observe anyone approaching the rock from Voyager.  If they were coming they should be here soon.

B’Elanna checked her watch.  19:45 and no one was approaching from the ship.    Fifteen minutes late.  Her listener must have changed her mind or something had come up.  It was probably for the best anyway.  She’d just finish her walk right past Tom and return to the ship.

Tom stared out to sea waiting.  He knew it was past the scheduled meeting time.  Whoever had needed a listener about their problems had evidently patched things up.  He wished he knew how they did that because he could use the advice right now.  He checked the time again and was about to get up and head back to the ship when he heard a branch snap behind him.  He turned to see B’Elanna walking toward Voyager.  She saw him move and stopped.

“B’Elanna.  How have you been?”  Boy, was that a stupid opening!  Tom could have kicked himself.  He sounded like a stranger trying to start a conversation.

“Hi, Tom.  I’ve been busy.  Anything interesting happening on the bridge?”  B’Elanna took a step toward Tom ready to change direction again if he acted like he didn’t want to continue the conversation.  She was not interested in another confrontation.

“Oh, Harry wasn’t paying attention and hit a button that set off alarms all over the bridge.  It really woke everyone up including the commander and captain.  They were not amused at having their game of eye tag disrupted.”  B’Elanna smiled at the anecdote.  They both relaxed a bit.

“Why are you out here, Lanna?  You don’t usually go in for nature walks.”

“I just wanted to get some air and think away from the crowd.”  B’Elanna approached Tom’s rock gradually.  She really didn’t want to intrude.

“Yea, I know what you mean.  I’ve been watching the water and the light.  It changes as the sun goes down.  Sit and watch for a minute.”  Tom wasn’t really thinking about their fight when he spoke and automatically reached out a hand to pull B’Elanna down next to him.  Just as she sat down, he realized what he had done and jerked his arm back to his side rather than put it around her waist, as he would normally have.  B’Elanna reacted from habit to his gesture and found herself seated next to Tom before she realized what she was doing.  She missed his arm around her waist.  They watched the light play across the water in companionable silence.  Neither wanted to break the mood.

As darkness fell the air turned cooler and B’Elanna shivered.  Tom responded by placing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to his side for warmth.  She offered no resistance.  They both felt better for the contact.  Finally B’Elanna broke the silence.

“I don’t like fighting with you all the time, Tom.  Why do we do it?”

“I don’t know, Lanna.  I hate the fighting.  I hate the way it makes me feel.  Most of all I hate not being with you when we fight.”

“I’m so scared.  I love you so much, yet all we seem to do is fight.  This time it really scared me, Tom.  You left and didn’t come back.  I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Lanna.  I don’t want to lose you but I know we’re going to have another fight.  We always do.  I honestly don’t think we’ll ever stop fighting.  It’s part of who we are.  Whatever makes us fight is probably part of why we love each other.”

“You’re probably right.  I enjoy a good argument and you are one of the few people who will even disagree with me, much less argue.  Chakotay is the other and he only disagrees when he knows I’m wrong.  Then he pulls rank and tells me to do whatever it is I don’t want to do.  He is no fun whatsoever to argue with.”  Tom chuckled.  He had been around a few times when Chakotay let loose with B’Elanna for getting out of line about something.

“What’s so funny, Helm Boy?”

“I’ve seen one or two of those discussions.  I can understand why you don’t like them.  I’ve been there with him, too, you know.  I think the captain has even been there once or twice.”  B’Elanna looked surprised.

“You think Chakotay talks like that to the captain when he thinks she’s wrong.”

‘Yea, I guess I do.  I think he only does that with people he really respects and who he thinks can handle it.  I’ve never seen him do it with the younger members of the crew.  Why do you like to argue with me, Lanna?”  Tom returned the topic to their relationship knowing they had to talk it all out before they could move forward.

“You don’t pull your punches.  You treat me as an equal.  So many people are afraid of me and my temper.  You’re not.  You never back down from a conversation because I’m in a bad mood.  You’re not afraid to tell me I’m wrong or that you disagree with me.  I guess you respect and care about me enough to say whatever needs to be said regardless of my reaction.  I just don’t like it when the argument turns into a real fight.  This last fight really has me worried.”

“I know what you mean.  I don’t ever remember being that angry or taking this long to cool down enough to talk to you about it.  The really terrible thing is that I don’t even remember what started the fight, so it can’t have been all that important.  I know it wasn’t important enough to risk what we have.”

“Nothing is that important.  You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and the most important thing in my life, Tom.  I do think you’re right when you say that we’ll probably never stop fighting.  We’ll just have to find a way to deal with the fights rather than trying to stop fighting.”

“OK, that’s worth a try.  What bothered me was that we were apart after this fight.  That was my fault.  I walked out and didn’t come back.  If I had come back, we could have ended this a lot sooner and I wouldn’t have spent the night staring at the ceiling.”

“If you had come back, I wouldn’t have had to lie alone in a big empty bed wondering where you were.  Tom, promise that if I ever make you so angry you leave, that you’ll come back the same night.  Even if we’re not ready to talk, let’s never sleep apart again because we’re angry or trying to get even.”

“OK, B'Elanna, I will never stay away again because I’m angry and neither will you.  That also means neither of us sleeps on the couch.  That is our bed and we both sleep in it every night.  We also will talk through our disagreements as soon as we’re both ready.  Agreed?”

“Agreed.  If we’re in the same bed, I think most of our problems will go away by the next morning.”  B'Elanna shifted closer to Tom as the night air continued to cool.

“Come on, Lanna.  You know we can’t use sex to make our problems go away.  It wouldn’t work.  They’d just accumulate and eventually tear us apart.  Some problems will just go away.  There are going to be some that we have to talk about sooner or later.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t use sex to make them easier to discuss.  Of course, sometimes we can use sex to make the problem go away.”

“So how do we handle this latest fight?”

“For starters, we don’t sleep apart tonight.   Do you remember what it was about?”

“No.”

“Then I think it’s a problem that we can use sex to make go away.  What do you think?”

“I think I’m ready to make the problem go away.”  Tom kissed B'Elanna on the cheek.  Then their mood changed and they lost track of time.  Finally Tom pulled back enough to realize it was getting dark and the temperature was starting to drop, so he stood up before dragging B'Elanna to her feet.  “Lanna, I could carry you back to the ship, but if you walk we’ll get there much more quickly and I won’t fall asleep as soon as we get through the door.”

“Tom, I am not walking back to Voyager!”  At Tom’s look of dismay at the prospect of carrying her all the way back to the ship, B'Elanna laughed and took off running.

“Last one to Voyager has to serve me breakfast in bed!”  With her speed and head start, Tom knew he would be getting them breakfast in the morning so there was no point in chasing her to avoid that chore, but picked up his pace when he remembered there were better reasons to chase B'Elanna back to Voyager.